Living on the streets

[Dee Marie]

Hello everyone. I’m new here, and like all could probably write a book. Initially my question is, does anyone else have a BPD child over 18 that has been living on the streets? I have struggled for years as how to help him. He cannot hold down a job. Has no college education. He’s like a vagabond in our hometown. He’s come back home a few times over the years. Every time he does it turns out bad, and he leaves again. He’s gone for months up to a year. I cry my self to sleep, I pray for his safety, I pray for his mental health, I pray for him to be happy! I just don’t know what to do? Has anyone else had a similar experience with the BPD young adult child?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Merlot]

Hi Dee Marie

Welcome to the bpdfamily,

So glad you came here to join us.  As parents, we can never imagine that those beautiful children that we love/adore and nurtured as they grew up would be in situations that are so difficult for them and make our hearts hurt so much.  I don't blame you for crying... .I have cried too... .many times and it really helps.  Just know that we are all here in the same boat to share your story and let you know we care. 

While I don't have direct experience with my child being homeless, my DD27 has a terrible time in all her relationships, hurts people viciously. She plays the victim all the time and blames everyone for her problems - mostly me.  At the moment I am cut out.  I'm sure there are many members here who may have a very similar experience in terms of what you describe.

Do you have support?  I have found that the more support (from different fora) the more my feelings have stabilized and I am learning much about BPD.  At the moment I am reading Shari Manning's book - Learning to love someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. 

Take care of yourself and I look forward to hearing from you.  Merlot :-)

[Speck]

Hello, Dee Marie:

 

Just wanted to pop in to join Merlot in welcoming you to the family. I'm so sorry for what brings you here, but just know that you are not alone. We listen to and support our members, here.

I cannot personally speak to your particular situation, but I'm sure someone here probably has experience with the heartbreaking homelessness of a beloved child. In my opinion, you have found the best place in the world for understanding, compassion, and education.

Tell us your story - doing so may help you as a process, and it may help others when they see that they are not the only ones suffering.

Please make yourself at home, and please let us know how we can best help you.


-Speck

[jones54]

Hi Dee Marie,
My 32 yo DD has been homeless for the last month. You can read my entire story elsewhere. She is homeless and living at a women's shelter and not on the streets. We do not have any contact with her (on purpose) because we have been instructed by a therapist to totally cut her off. She is a heroin addict as well. She has been evicted, totaled her car and lost everything. It is heart wrenching to not have any communication with her but also a break since she mostly communicates with negative comments about her parents.   I feel bad for your situation and also feel your pain. I am not sure if there is anything we can do for them unless they agree to ask for help and act appropriately. For my daughter it is getting off heroin and finally taking care of herself. That is what we are anxiously waiting for at this time. I want so badly for her to hit rock bottom and throw in the towel. Unfortunately, it will be up to her and there is nothing I can do about what she decides. All I can do is wait and pray.

[Feeling Better]

quote Dee Marie
Hello everyone. I’m new here, and like all could probably write a book. Initially my question is, does anyone else have a BPD child over 18 that has been living on the streets? I have struggled for years as how to help him. He cannot hold down a job. Has no college education. He’s like a vagabond in our hometown. He’s come back home a few times over the years. Every time he does it turns out bad, and he leaves again. He’s gone for months up to a year. I cry my self to sleep, I pray for his safety, I pray for his mental health, I pray for him to be happy! I just don’t know what to do? Has anyone else had a similar experience with the BPD young adult child?

Hello Dee Marie, oh these sons of ours! Mine has been no contact with me for over a year now, I heard from one of my daughters that the job he was doing was due to finish in February. I’ve no idea whether or not it has, no idea where he is or what he is doing, so at this moment in time he could quite well be living on the streets too, but I just pray that he’s not.

I used to cry myself to sleep every night but then I realised that I just couldn’t carry on like that. With help and support from everyone here I learned to put myself first, found out that I mattered and that my life mattered. How are you taking care of yourself Dee Marie?

One huge thing I learned from being on this site is this - we cannot help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. It took me quite a while to accept that fact, and accepting that has helped me to move on. Stick with us Dee Marie and you will learn how to move on too, read others posts and continue to post yourself, it really does help x