What does successful treatment look like? How much can be expected?

[Bewildered11]

My wife is beginning therapy tomorrow, and I guess it's going to be a very long process. Can anyone who has experience of this please let me know just how successful it can be. She is herself currently keen to get it going.

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[ortac77]

I think the best I can say is don't expect too much, sorry to say this but BPD is a hard nut to crack and I have found the main issue to be therapy avoiding behaviours. Its good to get some idea of what the therapy involves yourself I think.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi Bewildered,

I would disagree with those who say T is hopeless. DBT has been very effective in helping people with BPD learn to manage their emotions and as SlyQQ said self harming behavior. Of course, how successful the T is will have to do with how committed your pwBPD is to learning the skills.

I think the level of success is yours to determine. What would "normal", or at least as "normal" as any other relationship look like to you? What are some benchmarks? Some goals? What behavior does your pwBPD hope to work through with T?

For instance, for myself I know that my H will probably not find a complete release of his anxiety and irritability. That's just how it is. I cannot expect his level of "normal" to be the same level of normal as the average person. To me though, normal looks like my H dysregulating only once every couple of months as opposed to a couple times a week. Normal would be both of us sharing our feelings and communicating well. Normal is me not dreading going home, but instead looking forward to spending time with him.