You are dealing with a houseful of mental issues. I can't imagine how difficult and exhausting that must be for you. You need a vacation! Here's a hug instead--->
How old are your children? Do you have boundaries for them as well? Or do their needs win every time? Asking because if he is the only one facing consequences, then I can see how he might start to feel some injustice there. Not blaming you, most (good) moms would put their kids first, but you may need to find a balance that works for all of you -- yourself included.
Thank you for the hug
I don’t think I’d know what to do with myself on vacation at this point
My girls are 18 and 16
Oldest was in hospital for suicide ideation just before Xmas (my H had a breakdown then too which I could not make a priority to his disappointment
She is doing better and probably the most level of the three at this point but I have to be vigilant on her sliding back into old habits which lead down a dark hole
My youngest is 16 and has struggled with bouts of anxiety most of her life but in the last year it has exploded. She was the disgruntled teen for most of it so I did not pick up on the seriousness of her struggles a lot was because of the constant presence of my H so she rarely got me alone. Yes we’d have a planned night that she blew off half the time but even to drive her somewhere he would insist on coming along.
I did not realized how pressured I felt to placate him and not ask him to stay back or give us the tv room for some girl time ect. And thinking back I was pressured to move in together probably before I would have suggested it, another long story.
So my youngest has been feeling like a third wheel for a long time. She was prepared to move to her dads even tho it’s not a good environment to make it “easier on everyone” only person it would be easier for in my H and I need to put her well being above his at the moment.
It’s not fair but necessary. I’ve consulted my doctor before I made this decision
And for the first time I feel like I am making my own solid decision.
Putting her needs as a priority right now is a temporary situation as I get her settled in therapy she is aware of this and things are improving
I should mention that when she first broke much of her anxiety and anger was directed to my H largely cause she was jealous of the attention he was getting. She wanted him out and I explained to her that he is going through his own struggles and asked her if he stayed out of the way could we give the therapy and medication time before we made a decision.
She agreed and has made the best of it and it’s a crappy thing to ask of my H. My preference would have been to stay at a friends for a bit instead of isolating him. He replied that he was worried I would stop loving him if he didn’t stay near me. ... .sigh
She is handling this more maturely than he is. At least I understand why now but it is really hard not to be angry about it and shield the kids from his tantrums (not putting them in danger) so she doesn’t feel bad for asking for help. And she does feel bad at the compromise I asked if my H and is working very hard to get a handle on her stuff
Ok. That’s a huge rant I’m sorry. And that is a shortened version
If I lost sight of your questions I’m sorry. I’m really tired and ramble some times
Thank you for your input
