New here:Looking how best to support 18yr transgender teen and keep myself sane

[El’s Mama]

Hi everyone!  I’m the mom to an 18 year old transgender teen with diagnosed BPD. My husband and I struggle daily with his behavior, his mood swings and his problems with interpersonal skills and relationships. It’s been an overwhelming challenge. I’ve been angry, sad, afraid and heart-broken - sometimes all in the same day. I would like to understand him better. His illness in general and his thought processes and feelings in particular. I want to know how best to support him and keep myself sane at the same time. I’m looking forward to the guidance and support from this group. I hope that maybe some day I can offer the same to others.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Speck]

Welcome, El’s Mama!

 

Let me welcome you here to bpdfamily and wish for you as much help and support as I have received.  It's clear you have a lot in common with many of us here. This is a community where we help each other, so I'm sure if you keep posting and reading you will find it helpful.

Thank you for sharing what you have thus far:

I’ve been angry, sad, afraid and heart-broken - sometimes all in the same day. I would like to understand him better. His illness in general and his thought processes and feelings in particular. I want to know how best to support him and keep myself sane at the same time.

It sounds like you have really had a tough time, and I'm sorry for that. One thing that can really help with allaying some worry is understanding. And, it sounds like you are willing to understand your child better, and that is pure love, in my opinion. Luckily, you've found our website which can help you in that regard in spades. When you're ready, just start reading the site articles and do the Tools and Lessons located in the right panel of this page. The other thing that you'll find here is support for yourself.

I believe you will be greatly comforted by the support here and the fact that we really understand what you are going through. We've all been there to varying degrees. Take care of yourself. We will look out for future posts from you.

Keep writing, keep processing, keep learning!


-Speck

[Feeling Better]

Hello El’s Mama

I would like to join Speck in welcoming you to the board, you have come to the right place to find out as much as you can about BPD. You will also find lots of support.

You say that your transgender child has recently been diagnosed with BPD. Is he receiving any therapy at the moment?

I’ve been angry, sad, afraid and heart-broken - sometimes all in the same day. I would like to understand him better.

Wow, you are not alone on this. I’m sure most of us here have felt all of these emotions, and yes, probably on the same day too. It really can be a roller coaster.

A good way to understand him better is to read as much as you can about BPD. There is an excellent book by Shari Manning titled Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.

There are also lots of tools and resources to be found to the right 
click on the links and you will be taken to the correct page.

You want to support him and keep yourself sane at the same time, sometimes not as easy as we think it is, just remember that you need to take care of yourself in order to be able to take care of and support him. What kind of things are you doing at the moment for your own self care?