My replacement and former friend is fixing to get the lesson of a lifetime

[Foursome]

Yes I was replaced and for a man of my previous confidence level was quite difficult to take.

Although I know it had absolutely nothing to do with me.

However,  something just struck me.

My replacement and former friend... .is fixing to get the lesson of a lifetime.

... .and will be a member here soon!

[Cromwell]

im sure youll be waiting with the coffee and rich tea biscuits for his welcome arrival

you got me thinking though, the timing that i met her, it was great for the first few months because she wasnt actually with anyone neither was I, although I really liked her and would have liked to have got serious, I just saw her sometimes and spent my time with short term fun with other women.

all of a sudden she disappeared from contact, but it didnt bother met all, I hadnt emotionally got that close we had just had a casual sexual relationship. the catalyst that I feel made her come to me was 6 months later she still had my phone number, texted "hi, do you know who this is"... .and from there we got serious as it turned out the "love of her life" guy she had met in those 6 months finished with her. Of course, I got the one sided story and believe it all, partly choosing not to want to dig deeper as I was so happy to finally have her for myself as id really wanted before she disappeared.

but looking back, she was devastated about being "abandoned" (she cheated on him) and I was the replacement.

nothing more, nothing less, than someone suitable and available at the time to soothe her abandonment feelings.

it really is a predictable odious cycle (their lives).

as time went on I found the trail of destruction of her exs. its hard without knowing both sides of the story whether there was ever any truth in what she said about them but my own intuition is much of the times she would sponataneously get triggered about one of them and rage about them, a lot of what she said sounded like complete projection of her own faults.

anyway, you get the refreshments ready for him, dont worry about it going cold, he'll be here soon enough :D

[Rinzler]

Yes I was replaced and for a man of my previous confidence level was quite difficult to take.

Although I know it had absolutely nothing to do with me.

However,  something just struck me.

My replacement and former friend... .is fixing to get the lesson of a lifetime.

... .and will be a member here soon!

He sure af is... . I have NEVER taken an offer of a wife of a friend seriously. I guess that is a generational thing but I just can't fathom, unless you are on an island or Alaska why ? Why would u go do 2nds from a friend?
He's a douche.  He coulda gone about it half a dozen diff ways if he really needed to and you and him would be eskimo bros sharing a drink rn.

Yo popcorn that mofo. You should laff when u see them. Whats not funny is if homeboy ends up dead or in jail which is highly probable at this point from what you've told us. 

[Foursome]

So I just go home have lunch with my mother.  She lives down the road.

I leave go to my house to put on a load of clothes and then start heading back to the office.

Guess who I pass on my road headed to my house.  Yep my ex wife.  She tries to wave me down.

I just keep on rolling.  God that made me feel a little better.  That bad?

As I write this I get a message from one of her friends that she wants me to call her please.

Nope and the friend the gets the old blocky blocky now too.

[Rinzler]

You can bet that creature feature is already having problems... .and she's trying to recycle you.

What you ought to do is let the new douchebag owner know so u could wrench her whole chit up and while you are there tell him she has BPD and his life is in danger as she already killed someone and sent other to jail.

[Foursome]

Oh no way Jose.  I want to see this play out.  I am in pain sure.  You guys know that.  Neither of them do though.  I am going to keep it that way.

I went home to put my good jeans in the wash.  I am going to get out tonight.

[Cromwell]

well done for doing what you want to do. there is nothing wrong in what you did, you dont owe her the time of day as much as anyone else. probably less for what shes done.

at the same time, and im not someone who hasnt felt better with a bit of revenge in the past. id be careful to try anything like that with a borderline, it can end up really igniting something you might regret.

what you already did will have had a very very profound impact. abandonment hurts a borderline to the core. and i dont expect you to feel bad about it, its probably the only way she will ever start to learn to respect other people wont put up with their games.

I remember when you said she shouted at your wedding "I got him", it sort of gave me flashbacks to things mine said, im glad that you have written the ending your way just as i did mine. its one of the few things that made me feel better about myself.

go have a good night mate, enjoy yourself and forget about her, thats the worst punishment you can give.

[Hopefulgirl]

The painful thing about being replaced is that, for some people, you start believing that this new person is the devious manipulative reason for being abandoned.  Then you start realizing that the ex with BPD has most likely devalued you to the replacement.   

The woman my ex left me for was especially cruel to me.  I ended up writing to her to tell her to stop with the cruelty.  Later, when he broke up with her, he told me she had a monster side to her and I should not feel sorry for her because she slandered me so badly. Of course he ended up getting back together with her.  I had watched her anguish  via social media when he had left her. I had felt empathy for her, I couldn't help it.  But found out later she never stopped slandering me, saying awful untrue things about me. Found out recently they are engaged.  I end up having resentment of both of them

[Foursome]

Mine can say whatever she wants about me but what is truly ripping her apart as she can’t say anything to ME. Even more importantly she will never have my voice.

[Cromwell]

bit off topic but cant resist in mentioning that I love the thread title, "THE REPLACEMENT", i think theres a future book or film in there somewhere, sounds really gripping.

it is very difficult to not take things personally when they have went and found someone else. under normal circumstances you could say that this person had more to offer, in the case of BPD, it just isnt so. in fact they are likely to find a weaker and easier target the next time around.

when I hear of what she put her exs before me through, and what type of vulnerable people they were in the first place, theres nothing to be jealous about. I wont say because it could trigger some people here, but she literally drove most of them to deaths door. they were lucky if they were just left heartbroken.

the more of this i found out as time went on, and caught on to her deception, is the point where she cheated on me. it was her pre-emptive strike at avoiding what she thought is me abandoning her for discovering who she really was.

thats hardly anything to get too riled up about is it?

even better is she came back to me and i ended up abandoning her just when it appeared on the surface everything was going well again.

her stalking was just more satisfaction, and that i never tried to contact her.

in my sense of idealism, of course idve preferred a happier ending; a loving mutually respectful relationship that would have been a source of joy and a person i would have strived to do everything to give her the happiness she wanted so desperately. In reality, she sabotaged that all and ive had to deal with it as much as she will (and did) realise she lost out. their replacments are just temporary sticky plasters. fillers to waste time that they cant stand a second alone with their own thoughts for company.

i dont see anything, whatsoever, to feel jealous about.

[CryWolf]

-inserts kermit the frog tea meme-
for when your former friend joins

[Turkish]

I'm glad that you kept driving AxxxM. You did what was best for you.  

My ex asked to come back almost a year ago... .while still married,  but separated, from my "replacement," the guy she went out on me with while I stayed home to take care of the kids.  It took 4 months to get her out of the house while she led a double life,  worst time in my life,  emotionally.  

Will the new guy get the pain,  likely.  Will you see it? Maybe,  maybe not.  I saw it,  but it took two years.  I only knew it because we had kids and there was risk of she being reported for exposing them to DV.  I wonder where I would be if I never knew... .

What do you think? Where might you be in the future if you never knew,  even if it's a good bet that you think the same dysfunction will manifest in future relationships on her side?