summer18
 Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 3
|
 |
« on: April 12, 2018, 09:52:57 AM » |
|
Hello. I’m new here, this is my first post.
I believe my boyfriend of 5 months is suffering from BPD. He hasn’t been diagnosed but I believe he has many of the symptoms. I know he suffers from anxiety, ADHD and depression. I got him to go to a therapist to get help but he only went once which was a few weeks ago and hasn’t gone back.
Extreme trust issues, extreme anger, false accusations, lies, difficulty expressing emotions are a few of them. For the past week and a half, he has been acting like a completely different person. There has been times where this has happened before, he gets extremely mad over something that seems so small, he may ignore me for a few hours, say or do really hurtful things but then eventually realizes hours or sometimes the next day. He will apologize and apologize and claims he feels really bad and it won’t happen again, until I eventually forgive him. There’s been times where everything seems really good, he makes me really happy and acts like a great and caring boyfriend. But then something always ruins it and we become bad again.
But lately, the behavior has been really bad and different than usual. He lied to me about something, but I decided to forgive him and work through it. I then told a small lie about something he asked me bc I was scared of his response. I told him the truth right after. It ended up turning into something SO serious and I’m still dealing with these consequences over a week later. The smallest things will set him off. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, I don’t mean to tell small lies but he would get mad at me over EVERYTHING so I was just afraid. I have never told any big lies, unlike he has. I told him this wouldn’t happen again, as long as he promises not to get mad at me when I say the truth.
But ever since this last time, he says he cannot trust me at all. After it first happened and he eventually calmed down, he said we can move forward and just work on our trust. It’s hard for me to trust him as well. I thought that’s what we were gonna do, but instead he has just been worrying excessively, getting extremely enraged at me for no reason, being disrespectful, making extremely hurtful comments, making hurtful and false accusations, and being careless. He also hasn’t been talking to me much. I try and I try to get him to talk about how he’s feeling and why he’s acting this way and he says because he can’t trust me. But I know I do not deserve the way he is treating me. It’s never been this bad.
Now two nights ago, he went out and slept out (I have no idea where) and didn’t answer me the whole night. He used to do drugs so I was worried he was doing drugs or worse. Yesterday, he ended up texting me and wouldn’t tell me anything really. I was upset with him and he knew that. He isn’t realizing or caring about the way he’s acting towards me. He ended up changing his FB relationship status to single without even telling me so we decided we were gonna have a talk when he gets out of work. I ended up stopping at work while he was there (I work there as well) to just check on him cause his behavior is worrying me. It ended up making him beyond angry. He thought I was trying to bring drama to work. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea for me to go but he hasn’t been talking to me much through text and I just wanted to make sure he’s okay.
He ended up breaking up with me because of this. we talked in person later on that night and decided on a break. He’s going through a lot of stress and other things as well and everything is just very hard for him. But he was being really rude towards the end of our talk and just making it seem like he was beyond annoyed with me and was done taking. He ended up going out, I don’t know where or with who but I’m scared he’s with a girl. He texted me after I got home accusing me of hanging out with someone else and not even being upset which isn’t true at all. I haven’t heard from him since. It is now the next morning and I keep texting him just asking why he’s treating me this way, what I did that’s so wrong, how he can just ignore me and be perfectly fine knowing I’m hurting and I can’t go through a break with him acting this way, etc. He has never done this before.
It’s like he is a completely different person and lost all control of himself. I can’t seem to get the old him back. His behavior lately has been hurting me so much. Especially because he isn’t talking to me and is just so angry at me. I’m left so confused and upset, and I’m worried about what he’s doing. It would suck if he is with another girl while acting this way towards me and giving me no attention. I understand we’re gonna take a break but it’s hard to just leave everything this way. We both know this relationship has become toxic but we both wanted to fix it. Just a few days ago he was telling me he wanted to fix it and doesn’t wanna lose me but now he’s acting so cold, distant, and just not like himself at all.
Sorry this is so long! But it’s hard to do this all alone. Does anyone have advice? Does this sound like BPD? Will he ever come around and realize what he’s doing to me? What should I do? Please help... .
|
