Walking on eggshells describes my family around my eldest daughter who is 45

[Gisela]

I am a married mom if two adult daughters and one adult stepdaughter.
They each have two children and my BPD daughters children are 7 and 10. I started therapy with a new psychiatrist who finally gave me the correct diagnosis for her.
I am now on a plane to visit my daughter and grandchildren and will be trying to stay calm and not cry or show hurt. She rules how much time I can be with them. I was very close to them untitled the last few years so I feel a hole in my heart that our visitsi are now once a year after years of 6 visits of several weeks in the past

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harri]

Hi Gisela.  I can hear the hurt in your words.  I am so sorry for the situation that brought you here but happy you found us.  This site, and this board in particular has many people who can understand your situation and have either worked through it already or are in the process so you are in good company.

It is good that you have started your own therapy too.  Between that and posting here you can get a lot of support.  I don't normally post on this board but I did want to pop in and say welcome and let you know you will get through this.  This site offers a lot of material you can read to learn communication strategies and coping skills as you navigate your way through your relationship with your daughter.  Over on the right side, in a vertical list there are links called Family Connections  that you can click on that can be of great help and comfort. 

I wish you well and I am sure a regular poster on this board will be along shortly to welcome you and help guide you further.  In the meantime, we can certainly listen.

Be well.

[Mutt]

Hi Gisela,



I'd like to join Harri and welcome you to bpdfamily. I can hear the pain in your words too, it must of been difficult to get on that plane with those thoughts in mind, she's 45 you must of gone through a lot and felt lonely going through it not knowing what you're dealing, BPD is confusing because it doesn't seem like you can do anything right and everything is blamed on you. It's difficult to deal with but it helps to learn as you can about the disorder, it helps to talk to others that can relate with you, you're not alone.

How long is your visit? How are your grandkids?

[Feeling Better]

Hello Gisela

I’m so sorry to hear of what brings you here, it must be really heartbreaking for you to have less contact with your grandchildren than you used to.

I am glad that you are receiving help from your current psychiatrist who thinks that your daughter suffers with BPD. Does your daughter have a psychiatrist/therapist?

You say that you used to be very close to them until the last few years, did anything happen that brought about the situation which you now find yourself in?

My thoughts are with you, I hope that you can enjoy your trip and your time with your daughter and grandchildren x