Adult daughter has BPD, she is manipulating

[Parents! Get help here!]

My adult d has BPD she is communicating with her dad but ignores me or text me that she needed me and I wasn't there. She has manipulated my grandkids. They look at me like I am cruel. I was the one that held those kids when she blew up her family. Know I am not allowed to see them. She tells people I won't talk to her when she refused any communication.  I fear for those kids. My child is ill. One is the golden child the other diminished. Their dad does whatever my daughter wants... he doesnt want to lose her. I see and experience rampant emotional abuse and have to just let it go. Is there hope or do I just grieve the losses? She is in therapy... i think.

[Nature lover]

My adult d has BPD she is communicating with her dad but ignores me or text me that she needed me and I wasn't there. She has manipulated my grandkids. They look at me like I am cruel. I was the one that held those kids when she blew up her family. Know I am not allowed to see them. She tells people I won't talk to her when she refused any communication.  I fear for those kids. My child is ill. One is the golden child the other diminished. Their dad does whatever my daughter wants... he doesnt want to lose her. I see and experience rampant emotional abuse and have to just let it go. Is there hope or do I just grieve the losses? She is in therapy... i think.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Merlot]

Hi Nature Lover

Welcome to the bpdfamily  
I can really hear how painful this is for you and especially when there are grandchildren involved.

I feel like you are walking in my shoes as my story has very similar nuances to yours so I really do understand. Hang in there

Firstly, are you able to step back and consider how you might move forward. Do you think some theray for you and your husband might help  in terms of a joint strategy in regards to your daughter?

Personally, I found stepping back from the drama and taking time to reflect and learn has put me in a stronger position to help us both.

There is a wealth of material to the right . Parents here are also very supportive of one another and help each other in their journey.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Merlot

[Mutt]

Hi Naturelover,



Id like to join Merlot and welcome you to bpdfamily. I’m sorry that you’re going through difficulties with your D. You’re not alone there are many others that are in similar situations as you and can offer you guidance and advice.

I csn understand the stress with having kids in old, how old are the grandkids? Has she split you black in the past? If so for how long? It helps to talk.