She committed a felony, been to jail, lost her virginity and attempted suicide

[stillagoodmom]

Hi everyone,

My child has been in DBT for 6 months and we are still unfortunately at square one.  I know that this type of therapy is supposed to work for the liars, manipulators and pretenders, but we haven't made any progress.  She goes, she smiles, she pretends to listen, nods her head, agrees, then comes home and does whatever she wants.  And she has no intention of doing otherwise.  I'm angry, I'm tired, I'm drained financially and emotionally and I'm afraid for what the rest of her life is going to be like.  She's already commited a felony, been to jail, been suspended, lost her virginity, attempted suicide, been in the psych ward and she's only a freshman.  There are some days that I am literally amazed at how far she will go to convince me of a lie.  Her skills in deceiving people, taking from people, hurting people and still looking innocent leaves me gobsmacked.  The energy she is willing to contribute to doing the wrong thing is astounding.  The lies are intricate, the plans maniacal, the drive to get what she wants unwavering.  How do I do this for another 3 1/2 years?    

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Merlot]

Hi stillagoodmom

  Welcome to bpdfamily.

I'm sorry that such adversity has brought you here.  It's very hard when we invest so much in our children and struggle to see positive change. In reading many stories, it appears that lying is affiliated with BPD behaviours, although I am not the expert.

Unfortunately your story is very familiar to so many parents here who are weary and exhausted from the relentless dramas of BPD.  Know that this is a safe haven for you to reach out to other parents for non-judgemental support and learning.

The board to the right  is full of information to help guide you in moving forward through BPD as well.  Given that your daughter is still young and living at home, do you have support for yourself and are you able to take some time out from the exhaustion?  I think stepping back from the drama to re-energise and take a different perspective is a small step that can lead to bigger changes.

Please keep coming and sharing, I know this is difficult for you. 

Merlot



 

[Mutt]

Hi stillagoodmom,

 

I’d like to join Merlot and welcome you to bpdfamily. I’m sorry to to hear that  Wow that’s quite the story. I’d like to echo Merlot what do you do for self care?

[Feeling Better]

Hello stillagoodmom,

I would like to join Merlot and Mutt in welcoming you here, you have come to the right place to get lots of help and support.

I am so sorry to hear that things are no further forward despite your daughter receiving dbt, it must be really frustrating for you.

What support do you have? What are you doing to take care of yourself and your needs?

Keep posting it helps to share. How are things today?