New to this group-son about to be sentenced - wants help - there is none

[Mistyblue]

Hello
This is my first time posting. I have a 29 year old son with BPD. We are both exhausted trying to find treatment for him. He is being sentenced on a drug charge in a few weeks and I suspect that is why there has been little effort to provide a treatment plan for him. I’m sure that there will be no treatment in prison so it seems to be a no win situation. This has taken a great toll on both of us. He understands that he may not have time to complete treatment but as he said “ he just needs someone to talk to and who will listen”. His family doctor has tried numerous medications and does the best she can with her limited knowledge of treatment for his illness. He has been told that there are waitlists and if he feels that he may be in crisis or a danger to himself or others to go to a hospital. He doesn’t want to do this. He is living in another province that is about 2.5 hrs by air from me which makes it that much more difficult. I am so tired of hearing about all of those mental health organizations who seem to have little to offer even though they claim that they are there to support people with mental illness. Thank you for listening.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Mistyblue

 

Welcome to the community, I'm glad you've joined us for support. I totally relate with how you feel, it's frustrating and exhausting finding treatment, nightmare! My 29DD had to wait 12 months, like your son she's was crying out for help, someone to talk to, someone who understood, solutions. I'm no expert though I'd have thought they'd be some kind of pastoral care/medical support in jail, it might not be a 'treatment plan' - have you considered finding out what may be provided, it may give you and your son some comfort. What kind of treatment has been recommended?

Hang in there, we are here for you, you are not alone.  

WDx

[Merlot]

Hi Mistyblue

I join wendydarling in welcoming you to the bpdfamily.

I could certainly understand your worry and concern about all the current circumstances regarding available support and treatment options, and pending sentence.  It's a lot to have to contend with, particularly when you are so far away.   Although it does sound from you post that your son is also keen to get treatment.  That sounds like a positive. 

If he is sentenced, like wendydarling mentions, I would like to think that the prison system is focused on rehabilitation and duty of care to all of it's inmates which is suggestive of an appropriate treatment plan.

In terms of his family doctor, is there another practitioner in the area that can be recommended who may have more targeted experience in dealing with his illness?

I'm glad you came to join us and share as many parents here will be able to relate to exactly what you are going through when BPD presents with addictions, treatment and hospitalisations.

I hope you are doing ok.

Merlot

[Speck]

Welcome, Mistyblue!



I wanted to take a moment to join wendydarling and Merlot in welcoming you to the discussion forums. I'm so sorry for what you're going through but glad you have found a community where many of us have been through similar experiences, and we can learn from each other. From what you have written, it seems clear you will get good ideas and support here if you continue to read and post. In short, you have found the best place in the world for understanding, compassion, and education as it relates to coping with loved ones who have personality disorders.

Thank you for sharing with us what you have thus far:

This is my first time posting. I have a 29 year old son with BPD. We are both exhausted trying to find treatment for him. He is being sentenced on a drug charge in a few weeks and I suspect that is why there has been little effort to provide a treatment plan for him.

I am so sorry you are faced with this. Even so, I just have to applaud you for being willing to continue to put forth effort into understanding your son. In my opinion, that's true love. This site is rather HUGE, however, there are many, many articles related to bettering your relationship with the angle of using healthy communication techniques, setting needed boundaries, and validating what is valid. You will find these articles in the right-handed panel on this board. We can help you with questions, point you in the direction of additional resources, or just be a sounding board.

Tell us more about yourself and your story. It helps you to get it out, and it helps others when they see that they are not the only ones suffering. We look forward to hearing more from you.

Keep writing, keep processing, keep learning!


-Speck

[Mistyblue]

Thank you all for welcoming me and for your comments. I’m having a particularly hard day today, however, the positive, I have found a private therapist who will see him right away. He is feeling very low right now and just needs some one to talk with. There is a cost but will be worth it, I think.