A lot can change in a year...

[MomMae]

My BPD dd21 gave me the most wonderful birthday card.  She said it was the first one she looked at and knew it was the right one immediately, but read all the others before coming back to this one.  It says everything that I wanted to hear from her (but didn't think I ever would... .)  It shows me she has matured a lot that she was actually able to make herself vulnerable and give me such a sentimental card.    Apparently even her live in BF (with whom we shared a mutual hatred less than a year ago) said that it was the perfect card for me   

It makes me feel proud to think how far we have come in a year.  Last year she ignored my birthday.  Last year I was at my ultimate low.  Crying and feeling sorry for myself... .  I joined this board shortly thereafter and I will be forever grateful for what it has given me.

I think all of the other mothers (and fathers) on this board deserve the same sentiment that was printed in my card... .and I am sure many of our children want to say it, but, for whatever reason, just can't.  So here it is... .because I know all the other parents on this board deserve kudos for all they are doing and have done for their children:-

I want to say thank you-
For raising me.

For my happy childhood.

For standing back
and turning me loose.

For letting me make my mistakes.

For helping me clean up my messes.

For loving me that much.

For deftly balancing
just what I wanted
and just what I needed.

For birthdays, holidays,
and unforgettable every days.

For treats just because.

For being on my side.

For putting me in my place
when I was smart-alecky.

For putting me in a better place
anytime I'm down.

For making it all better-
and I do mean all.

For being my mom.
For being a friend.
For being the best.

I love you.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Faith Spring]

Thank you

[Huat]

Wonderful tribute! Brought a tear to my eye, MomMae.

Happy for you.

Huat

[mggt]

Great Card   

[Feeling Better]

Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful card MomMae 

[Lollypop]

Be proud MomMae, you’ve worked so hard at changing your approach and are an inspiration to me and I’m sure many others. Your practical advice is bang on. Bask in the glory of your card and the love and appreciation that came with it. We know they love us, just not always  

I wish you a very happy birthday  

LP

Ps.  I can’t remember the last time I received a birthday card, an occasional thoughtful gift but never a card.  For those of you out there that don’t get one either - I just want you to know you’re not the only one! I treat myself nice on birthdays now, try not be the victim.

[1hope]

Oh MomMae, this is wonderful!  After all you have put into improving your relationship with your daughter, YOU are being validated!  I'm so happy for you!  Thanks for sharing this with all of us, and I hope you enjoyed your special day! 
1hope ❤️

[Daisy123]

Hello Mommae,
Thank you for sharing. Your story moved me- it’s given me
hope that things can change.

[beady]

Be proud MomMae, you’ve worked so hard at changing your approach and are an inspiration to me and I’m sure many others. Your practical advice is bang on. Bask in the glory of your card and the love and appreciation that came with it. We know they love us, just not always  

I wish you a very happy birthday  

LP

Ps.  I can’t remember the last time I received a birthday card, an occasional thoughtful gift but never a card.  For those of you out there that don’t get one either - I just want you to know you’re not the only one! I treat myself nice on birthdays now, try not be the victim.

I'm so happy that MomMae has gotten the acknowledgement that she so greatly earned. But, like you LP, I haven't gotten any type of card for any of the usual days that people thank the people in their lives since forever. The 'Happy Birthday' e-mail I got last year doesn't count. It was a short and sweet 'happy birthday' that I was SO happy to have gotten, as it's very rare I get anything acknowledging my existence. I thanked her and told her how much it meant to get her e-mail. The response from her for this was a 2 page rant that hurt me to the core. She bated me, and I bit.   

[wendydarling]

Loving you back MM, always  

Good on you, it can be a toughie working through, standing back. We can do, it helps. And it can feel so good. Go your daughter, she's responding to you, your love, the changes you've made.

How is your son recovering? I ask cos we here are family.

Hope. Oh and a game of cards helps us all. 

WDx

[MomMae]

Thank you everyone for reading and for your kind comments.  I will be keeping that card close to my heart and will likely return to it often to remind myself of the sentiments within it... .We (BPD dd21 and I) are actually having a bit of a strained patch at the moment so it really helps to remember that underneath she does love me. She has been in a bit of a snarky mood with me and also in the "bite her own nose off to spite her face" type of mentality, turning down offers to do things that she loves, because she is perturbed about something.  I am sure you all know the drill.  I am waiting it out and trying not to react.

WD, my son is doing extremely well, miraculously well, as the doctors have said.  Some slight ongoing symptoms, but back to his engineering job and his life ... .truly amazing after the severe TBI he suffered.  Thank you for asking 

Best to all,  MM

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

MM, good for you,    this wide spectrum of disorder challenges us to respond and learn where they are, step back and re-engage with our new skills, not that we did not have them, we are upping them up here to meet our loved ones.

Do you know what's troubling your daughter at this time? Something she's not sharing with you, throwing at you   ? Stand back the tools help.

Bless your son, so good to hear he's doing well, I was well tearful to hear last year, so yes, yes a lot can change in a year, it has for me these last 3 years - for the better!

You've been through it, we all stand here MM united, we make changes, we love our children.

WDx  

[heartandwhole]

Brought a tear to my eye and a tug at my heart. Thank you, MomMae, for sharing this lovely news. 

heartandwhole

[Yepanotherone]

Absolutely beautiful words Mommae , thanks so much for sharing xxx