Is it possible for a BPD to comeback even with closure given?

[Struggler123]

I apologize if this seems like a weird question, but I deleted my ex from all social media, didn’t block her anywhere except for calls. She knows I was going to do that, and in long story short she said she loved me and understands that I needed to do it to take care of myself (Not sure how she was so calm, but I guess the new guy that shes marrying, she feels secured).

In the past, last time I went no contact after a series of break ups, she found everyway to contact me, took about 2 months for me give her a second chance thinking things would be better. And to a extend they were but I was ignoring key signs like anger for no reason, multiple calls if I’m out, having to wake up at her times, giving her all the attention. But, then came the idea of the whole commitment thing and I couldn’t give it to her, she tried every tactic and I didn’t budge. Ultimately, she asked me and I told her if he makes you happy then go for it, whether she took an impulse decision or not, she went through it. She still wanted to be friends, but I couldnt and hence she got the closure where i told her everything. Now I don’t feel the need to keep her blocked anymore (Its only been 11 days, but its been smooth sailing), I don’t have a grudge against her and nor am I mad at her, its been tough but, I just don’t see the need to keep her blocked anymore. So thats why I wanted to ask, in this particular situation what are the chances that she will try to contact me again? Should I still keep her blocked?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[juju2]

Hi

Am sorry you are going thru this. 

Am in a difficult situation also.

I have not blocked him, am not escalating.  I have to try to be calm and focused, look at big picture.

When I go minute by minute, day by day, even week by week, I get swallowed up by this situation.

What am trying to get to, is to be true to myself, get quiet, see what matters, focus on myself. 

So much of being in r/s w BPD is mood swings, etc stuff I can get caught up in.  I have to pause continuously to make sure am not reacting.  Reacting is not my true expression.

When I am at peace, my thinking is no longer distorted.  I have to go to al anon because i can't get myself out of my codependency, it's like quicksand, all my best moves get me in deeper

I wish I had answers.

Hang in there, read, write, post,

j

[juju2]

How are you today.

What did you decide about unblocking.

Maybe others here will weigh in.

There is experience here.

Hang in there!

j

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Struggler,

Are you hoping that she will reach out to you?  If so, unblocking could be a way to make yourself available to that.  From what you say about not blocking her anywhere except for calls, could she still reach you if she wanted to? 

Love and light x

[Struggler123]

How are you today.

What did you decide about unblocking.

Maybe others here will weigh in.

There is experience here.

Hang in there!

j

@juju

I thought about it and had a moment, and then I remembered, what am I trying to indicate by unblocking when theres nothing left. We are two people that had opposite views. Whether she comes back or not should not be my concern anymore. I should really focus on myself on the days that I do have to myself.

Hi Struggler,

Are you hoping that she will reach out to you?  If so, unblocking could be a way to make yourself available to that.  From what you say about not blocking her anywhere except for calls, could she still reach you if she wanted to? 

Love and light x

Hello Quinn, I thought long about it and I felt like indirectly I wanted that. I wanted her to reach out, but what difference was that going to make. I didn’t want to become triangulated, I had the opportunity to be “friends” but thats not what I want. I’ll get thrown away the instant, she decides that im a problem or getting close to her. Yes she can reach me, through any other portal if she wanted to. In the past she has done it through email etc. she could still message me through instagram, shes just not in my friends list. I’ve only blocked her on this app that we use for calling, she would have to use long distance direct calls to reach out. I think part of the problem is that, despite everything, I still want to believe that she changed and that she really does care for me the way I cared about her, but her impulsive decisions say so otherwise and at the end she still blames me saying I did not fight for her like I should have and now i’ll have to accept this like the way she accepted it.