One year ago today I joined this forum - thank you

[MomMae]

One year ago today, I found this forum.  I will never forget the rush of relief and VALIDATION I felt when I realized that there are other families out there dealing with similar circumstances and that they were feeling the same way we were... .That how I was feeling and reacting was normal; other people were feeling the same emotions!  I will be forever grateful to all the wonderful people who post here and all the resources available on this site.

To all the newbies out there, I want you to know that there can be hope.  A year ago when I joined, I was in a very dark place.  I just spent a few minutes reading back over some of my original posts, and hoo boy, did that bring the painful memories rushing back.  Things I work on trying to forget... .because they are just too painful to think about.

I remember the day I joined printing off an old post from another member to show my husband.  As I handed it to him, I said "I didn't write this".  After he finished reading, I remember the astonished look in his eyes as he told me that he understood why I had said that... .this stranger's post, and it was a long descriptive one, could have been me describing our daughter. 

It was a watershed moment for us, and a turning point.  Things are better now.  It didn't happen magically with finding this site, but it is because of this site that I was able to start the legwork needed to change things.  It wasn't easy, it didn't come naturally.  Dreams had to be released.  It took introspective, it took self-control, it took compassion - for my daughter and also for myself.

So, Happy Anniversary to me and BPD family!    Thank you to every single person who posts here!  Thank you for all you have given me... .and in turn, given my daughter and my family. 

   MomMae 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[bluek9]

  MomMae,

          Congratulations! 1 year and counting. Thank you for posting this mile marker. And for sharing hope with all the new comers. I have a ways to go but can say I've been here since the first of the year. You're right it does take a lot of work but there is help here for all. Enjoy this 

[Lollypop]

Hi mommae

Thanks for posting and your wise words. I think you’re amazing 

LP

[Huat]

Happy for you, MomMae.  Wonderful, uplifting words! So important for all of us to read, especially the Newbies.

For me, too, it was a life-changer hitting upon this forum... .a place where I can vent... .a place where I am validated... .and with those in place... .an ability to work on healing and feeling the rush of being empowered to make much-needed changes. 

I would say that the most important lesson I have learned is to "accept" what is... .IS... .and deal with it accordingly... .giving up the pipe-dreams... .looking after me... .shedding the role of victim to my daughter's role of bully.

Mothers' Day is coming up and I'm okay with knowing that there will be no fireworks set off in my honour by this daughter of mine whoI love so much... .but "like"?... .not so much .  I will not accept any invitations to Pity Parties, either!  I am now confident in knowing I was the best Mom I knew how to be and I will continue to be so.  I wish that knowledge on each and every mother here.

So, yes... .a resounding Happy Anniversary to you, MomMae !  I, like so many others, love reading your posts!  Keep 'em coming!

Huat

[MomMae]

Thank you for your kind words, as always 

bluek9, you are such a strong woman, an inspiration.  With all you have on your plate at home, working fulltime while also caring for your dd and grandson, you somehow find the time to be an ambassador here, offering sage words of wisdom and support to others.  All I can say is WOW!  ... .and thank you... .

Lollypop, your posts have always been a true pleasure to read... .you tell it all and tell it like it is... .I admire that.  You have been there for me, offering advice and cheering me on throughout, and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it.  An inspiration to be sure... .and I love how you have found something for yourself with your art!  That is what I need to work on next, something for me.  Thank you for being a friend 

And Huat, it was you who gave me what amounted to a bit of a kick in the pants that got me doing the real work needed to get out of the rut I was in dealing with my daughter.  You mention those wise words here in your post... .you told me at one point that I needed to stop being the victim.  And I must admit, at first I was a little put off by that, because, hey, I was hurting so very bad, and I didn't deserve it... .  But, as time passed, I reflected on those wise words and what they truly meant... .they meant stop handing over my power about how I feel about myself to someone else.  Stop being the victim to my BPDDD behaviours.  I stopped whining (mostly anyway!  and regained my self-respect.  I can say with certainty, in order to effectively use the tools on this site and start to change the dynamics of my relationship with my daughter, breaking out of my victim-hood was step number one!  So thank you, Huat, for your frank, yet very caring, way with words.  I always know that I will learn something when I see a post by you.   

[wendydarling]

Hi MomMae

Yeh, wishing you a very happy first bpdfamily anniversary MM, congratulations,   you’ve been through the wringer this last year and deserve to be exactly where you are right now after all your hard work.  

Isn’t this just the most amazing and empowering place to be!  A wonderful gift to us parents, it’s high on my life’s top learning experiences, profound. I often wonder where I’d be without our family here, truth be I’d be scrabbling around, going round and round in everlasting BPD dizzy circles.

Keep those posts coming MM, thanks for all you do here cheering us on, welcoming newbies, it means so much.

Yes, there is hope.

Onwards  

WDx
PS - I'm also celebrating this week, 3 years ago was my DD's first hospitalisation - today she's managing her BPD, my beautiful BPDDD warrior.  

[Feeling Better]

Hi MomMae

I too want to congratulate you on your anniversary. You made it! 

I’m so happy for you that you stuck with it and that it has paid off, you deserve it.

So, what next? Onwards with your next year I guess, I certainly hope so.

Take care x

[MomMae]

Thank you Wendy and Feeling Better!  You ladies are phenomenal... .your kindness, wisdom and support has meant and means so very much to me.  Hope you both have a wonderful weekend!    MM