Hi Makoa,
What do you imagine are "extreme measures?"
You said this in your intro post:
I know this may sound naive, but given my history with abuse. I don't feel like what he did was done to be abusive
I read your story of your childhood and I'm sorry that you were abused by so many as you were. With a dysfunctional childhood, it can be hard to see things clearly. "You don't know what you don't know" is what we heard when I was a mentor for at risk teens. These early experiences twist our world-views in that even if our logical minds scream "this isn't right!" Or emotional minds may whisper, "this isn't
that bad... ."
Intent isn't as important as what happened. I put up with a lot due to by childhood with my BPD mother. I shouldn't have. It wasn't right, and by what I read of your story there isn't much right. You might glean wisdom by reading discussions by members who have been where you were and maybe still are:
3.03 | Domestic violence [women]Would you be tempted to answer a text from his dad, or ignore it? Or tell the truth that you have a protective order against him and not to contact you anymore?