Adult daughter's brutal treatment of me and withholding grandkids.

[Time reborn]

Hi all, I'm new here and first time I've posted on a forum in regards my daughter and her BPD.

I'm looking forward to reading about the experiences of others who have adult kids with BPD/npd.

Honestly it's been a harrowing experience raising her as a single parent.

She's now 34 and it's not really any easier, wanting to figure out my best strategy and live a life with less pain.

 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hi TimeReborn and welcome

All of us here can relate to the pain you feel.  None of us thought this would be the future we would share with the child we love so much.  Sadly, the grandkids can sometimes be used as pawns - the greatest hurt when access to them is denied.  I do speak from experience.

Has your daughter been officially diagnosed as having BPD?  Has she ever been to counselling?  Have you ever been to counselling to help you deal with your daughter's BPD behaviours?

You have certainly come to the right place to learn and to feel support from others as you make some changes - changes that have to start with you.  See to the right  "Lesson 2:  If your current approach is not working - change it"... .a good start.  Nobody will tell you that this will be easy but, as you write, your daughter is already 34 and "its not really any easier."

So, hope to hear more from you, TimeReborn, as your share what is happening in your life with your daughter.  For me, I have found it so comforting to put my fingers on the keyboard and pour out my heart, get responses from others... .then know that I have been heard and my feelings validated.  That has given me nudges to move forward.

Huat

[bluek9]

    Welcome TimeReborn,

             I just want to join Huat in saying we are here for each other and for you now. I too am a single parent, my daughter is going to 36 in August and I'm raising my grandson. You are in the right place t figure out a new strategy and gain lots of support and encouragement along the way. One of the nice things about being here is that we can share our pain, know that someone else understands, and that way it looses some of the sting.   hope to hear from you again