Ex with undiagnosed BPD: How do I get my phone & kitten back?

[Jd6210r]

Hi!

My ex left me about a month ago. This happened totally out of the blue on a Monday evening. During the day she was fine, then at the night she came home (lived together for 7 weeks) and basicaly said she was worried that her parents were going to take the land off that that she keeps the horses on. I reassured her that wouldn’t happen. She decided to go back to her parents house to ‘think’ about everything.

I saw her the morning at her parents house after and tried to hug her and she just pushed me away, at that time her grandad came across and she went to him crying, so I decided to make a quick exit. Three hours later she empited all of her stuff and furniture out of our house. That same day she added a lot of males on FB who stated liking her posts etcX Two days after that she was seen on Tinder.

She kept broken daily contact up until last Saturday. She’s been so confused! And hot and cold. The last proper contact was Friday evening when we spoke for hours and she said that I’ve got to realise it’s over and to move on and leave her alone, no more even being friends. we argued abit, as she was changing her mind about stuff every other sentence. So we left the call, said good night etc on a good note. Two minutes later she had blocked me off all social media. She rang on the Saturday to see if I was okay but I’ve heaed nothing since my self.

I’ve been emailing her since as thats the only way to contact her, to no avail, asking for my phone and kitten back. She’s been taking to my sister asking for help and she told her to just give me my stuff back and then the problem would be gone. My sister has got fed up and has had to block her, but she refuses to give it back. She yesterday text my mum Asking for relationship breakup advice! Mum wasn’t very helpful to her as she is annoyed that I moved to another area to live with her and she won’t even try and sort the problems out.

My questions really, for me ... .it was the best relationship ever, she said she wanted to marry me and we were so in love (6 months). I obviously want her back! But what do I do? Do I go legal on the belongings she has of mine? Do I leave her alone etc, I’ve sent flowers, cards, gifts etc but that hasn’t worked. I really miss her and would just like to know what to do next. Thanks

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Jd6210r,



Sorry you've had such an unfortunate turn of events here. You love this person and now you've been discarded.

What are you planning to do to get the phone and kitten back? I think going very far on this will push her further away. Guess it boils down to how much are you willing to upset her to have your possessions and pet back? Sorry you are in this tough spot.

Hopefully others will join us soon and share their insights and ideas!

wishing you peace, pearl.

[Jd6210r]

Hey Thanks for your reply.
 
I would go as far as I had to really(Legally) I have a letter drafted by my solicitor, but I don’t know what to do, half of me still loves her deeply and would do anything to win her back, then my business side tells me to move on and recover the items according, obviously seeking to remove my kitten from her would break her heart, but then some people tell me it may shock her back to reality and begin to talk again #confused.com

I must add as well, she has not told any of her family of the threat to make my stuff back.

[pearlsw]

obviously seeking to remove my kitten from her would break her heart, but then some people tell me it may shock her back to reality and begin to talk again #confused.com

I must add as well, she has not told any of her family of the threat to make my stuff back.

Hi again,  

Are you on good enough terms with her family to have them help you get your stuff back?

Why do you think she is keeping your kitten and phone? To be mean, to give you a reason to contact her, any ideas? Has she said?

warmly, pearl.

[Jd6210r]

Hi again,  

Are you on good enough terms with her family to have them help you get your stuff back?

Why do you think she is keeping your kitten and phone? To be mean, to give you a reason to contact her, any ideas? Has she said?

warmly, pearl.

She told my sister they were hers and bought by me as gifts! That wasn’t really the case. I wouldn’t be too comfortable contacting the family if I’m honest.

I can wait around if people think there’s a chance, she’s the last person I want to hurt, but it’s knowing what to do next!