just realizing this is happening

[bloodbought]

Hello,

I am just now realizing after 24 years of a rocky marriage that this could be the root issue and I don't know how to deal with this new realization.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

Hi bloodbought, glad you found the site. It sounds like you've been through a lot -- over two decades of a rough marriage, and now maybe a lot of pieces are falling into place. You're wondering if your spouse might have BPD. Tough question; I don't think anyone knows how to deal with that right off the bat.

Want to keep talking about it? Can we help with some more questions?

kells76

[Panda39]

Hi bloodbought,

I'd like to join kells and say Welcome 

I'm on these boards because my significant other (SO) has an undiagnosed BPD ex-wife.  I can tell you when I first found out about BPD, I hit my local library and read everything they had.  It really helped me to get a good grounding in what BPD is.

Here are a couple books I found to be particularly good if you are interested in reading more about it... .

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Randi Kreiger 
 
and

Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Changeby Valerie Porr, M.A.

What types of things have you seen in your spouse that lead you to BPD?

Panda39