Inner peace... of sorts.

[Pencil sketch]

I have given up counting the days I have been NC. I have had 2 good days, which I can only describe, as peaceful.
I haven't been, in a constant battle with my mind.
She is there, but I can play with the image, like an Xbox game, I control what happens.
I am enjoying the moment, and not tempting fate, by saying 'I have recovered' I know it's within my capabilities, and for now, that is enough for me.
I wouldn't be here, if it wasn't  for this haven, with all said and done, this whole experience, has put my life into perspective.
Thankyou.

[pearlsw]

Hi Pencil Sketch,

What did you do on these two good days? What made them so good? Glad you had a bit of peace!

with compassion, pearl.

[Wicker Man]

I have given up counting the days I have been NC. I have had 2 good days, which I can only describe, as peaceful.

@Pencil Sketch

Congratulations! I have been looking forward to a day like you described for quite some time.  I wasn't counting, but she was on Instagram and last week I vowed to myself I would no longer look.  Further, I have been trying to extinguish the rumination cycle of trying to fit the broken pieces of her behavior in some semblance of order -it was a fools errand.

Thank you for sharing your success -it gives me something to look forward to.


Wicker Man

[Lucky Jim]

Great report, Pencil sketch!  It sounds like you are practicing mindfulness:

She is there, but I can play with the image, like an Xbox game, I control what happens.

Suggest you continue to stay "in the moment," which is what its all about, in my view.

Glad to hear that you have gained greater perspective on your life, which is something we can all aspire to.

LuckyJim

[Pencil sketch]

It's funny, I always envisaged, breaking free from this nightmare, would be akin to new years eve, fireworks, celebration, the whole she-bang.
I just felt peace, when I thought of her, it was like wondering how my neighbour was. She is just an ordinary person, I can see why I fell for her, but now find it hard to see, how she controlled my mind.
I suffer from anxiety, and the recovery process, is very similar. I am not assuming, this is it, I know i can fall back.
All I can say is, I didn't do anything special, I firmly believe, one day, the penny drops, your heart and mind, finally start to communicate.
Keep going, it will happen.

[MeandThee29]

Suggest you continue to stay "in the moment," which is what its all about, in my view.

I have a plaque that says this:

Just Breathe... .You'll never live this moment again.

Yes, your life may have a lot of troublesome clouds, but there's always something now that you can be thankful for. Enjoy now!

[Lucky Jim]

Like that plaque, MeandThee29!  Great reminder to be mindful of the present, where all the magic happens.   

LJ