Each successive break-up increases the dysfunction of relationship and the dysfunction of the partners individually - and opens the door for very hurtful things to happen.
You end up with shattered trust and diminished hope.
@MeandThee29 I completely agree. Once a relationship dissolves it can never go back to what it was. The only hope moving forward and reconciling would be to observe the past, learn from it and re-build a new foundation. This is difficult and heavy lifting in the best of circumstances. I should imagine with a BPD partner it would be even more perilous because of the underlying abandonment issues. -I cannot imagine what a reconciliation attempt might look like at this point with her. The word disastrous comes to mind... .
I was angry and outraged for a time, but I'm just sad now.
I certainly feel a lot of sadness. Even if it was misguided -the sadness is for the lost potential I saw in the relationship.
As horrible as it was, it has brought me to a good place in my life.
These are encouraging words! Slowly but surely I am working toward being able to say the same. If feel somehow my experience with BPD has been a loss of innocence. It has certainly given me a lot to process.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Wicker Man