Do more women these days have BPD traits due to technology and society?

[toomanydogs]

Here's what I tell my grown son about "red flags" in women (and it's the same as what I tell my grown daughter and what I'll tell my granddaughter):

1) Intimacy needs time. Be leery of a woman (or man) who pushes for sex immediately or for a commitment. My experience indicates that people who so tend to be controlling, and my experience indicates that people who are overly-controlling frequently are frightened and abusive.
2) Look out for lying. Not little lies, like, "oh, yes that dress doesn't make you look fat." but big ones, such as:
    a) People who constantly say no, they're not angry, they never get angry. In my experience, these people blow up.
    b) people who want everyone to like them. These are people who don't have a strong sense of self.
3) Watch how people talk about their parents and exes. Men who respect their mothers, women who respect their fathers, and men and women who talk respectfully and realistically about their exes are emotionally mature, in my experience.

 Then there are the obvious red flags that my kids didn't need to hear about from me: Substance abusers, those that engage in criminal activity, bullies, etc.
TMD

[Husband321]

An observation: you sound angry with all women not just your ex. I do hope you can let go of some of the over-generalizations and examine your own part in the relationship, and not because I want you to blame yourself or "take responsibility," but because by recognizing our own role in marrying or dating such disordered people, we're less likely to repeat the pattern.
TMD

Ok. Thanks for your input.

What I am saying is that what was "disordered" before, is now "the new normal".

It's not just me.  It is with many others I know. Similar patterns.

So perhaps we cannot have the same outlook, and our children cannot, as our grandparents did. Life will be a series of shorter term relationships.

I do not know of anyone still together after high school. (20 years later). Or even after college. I am sure they exist. But most I know are divorced.

Think.  Who is a female role model or woman girls constantly watch. ?  Kim kardashian?  The woman who became famous for having a big butt, sleeping around, and getting urinated on. Is she BPD?

[Husband321]

Here's what I tell my grown son about "red flags" in women (and it's the same as what I tell my grown daughter and what I'll tell my granddaughter):

1) Intimacy needs time. Be leery of a woman (or man) who pushes for sex immediately or for a commitment. My experience indicates that people who so tend to be controlling, and my experience indicates that people who are overly-controlling frequently are frightened and abusive.
2) Look out for lying. Not little lies, like, "oh, yes that dress doesn't make you look fat." but big ones, such as:
    a) People who constantly say no, they're not angry, they never get angry. In my experience, these people blow up.
    b) people who want everyone to like them. These are people who don't have a strong sense of self.
3) Watch how people talk about their parents and exes. Men who respect their mothers, women who respect their fathers, and men and women who talk respectfully and realistically about their exes are emotionally mature, in my experience.

 Then there are the obvious red flags that my kids didn't need to hear about from me: Substance abusers, those that engage in criminal activity, bullies, etc.
TMD

Well you are making my argument for me.

A. Don't date a woman who wants sex quickly. Or a commitment.  (Don't date a woman who ever had sex quickly I guess this means).

B. Don't date a woman who lies or tries  to conform.

C. Date a woman who likes both her parents.

D. No drugs.

I am with you on the lying and drugs. But how many single, fit women meet the other criteria? It's a dwindling number.

[Husband321]

I think this is what I mean... .

Back in the day, younger women were more focused on finding a man, starting a family, staying married etc. very low number of sexual partners, if any. 

Now, especially if they are atleast moderately attractive, there is online dating, sugar babies, tinder, hook ups, instgram, Facebook etc etc.  Divorce is common.

So if a woman did not have a man and a relationship, there were fewer outlets to get a low level of emotional attention. If you meet a guy in your town, you will make it work.

The above behavior, decades ago, would probably be considered histrionic, narcissist, BPD etc.  As I said before, could we picture our grandmas, no matter how attractive in the day, taking nude polaroids and handing them it to strangers?
Talking about sexy with strangers on the phone?

So I feel younger women today have far more "BPD" traits than our ancestors, without being clinical "BPD"

So when people say "oh man.  How did you end up with that crazy girl", they are thinking of the old days, when they have pre conceived notions of what a wife and mother is. They think of their moms and grandmas.   But that "crazy girl" is pretty darn common today.