Two years out

[bestintentions]

Hi all,

I don't post or read the boards much anymore but thought I'd drop in to offer encouragement.  With time, patience, self-care, and introspection - it gets better.

My life collapsed on itself about two years ago after a 25 year r/s with my xw.  To cope, I read these boards daily.  Whether it was to better understand BPD and what I had gone through, commiserate with others, seek guidance or to just plain experience anything other than the awful pain I was feeling, I read.  I learned.

You need some form of closure to move on.  This may come as an "ah-ha" moment, it may come over time in smaller chunks or it may even make itself apparent when your perceptions change about something that was said.  My own bit of advice: however you make closure, make it yours.  Dig deep to find it.  You will come out of this a different, stronger person.

Early in the stages of my breakup when I was desperately trying to help my xw and save our marriage, I received a text from her that simply stated, "I am a child."  For me, this became a lynchpin in my recovery.  I knew things had turned for me when I didn't think of this in terms of "No you're not!  We can do this!" to "Yes.  Yes you are."

Best to all,

bi

[Insom]

Hi,  bestintentions!

Early in the stages of my breakup when I was desperately trying to help my xw and save our marriage, I received a text from her that simply stated, "I am a child."  For me, this became a lynchpin in my recovery.  I knew things had turned for me when I didn't think of this in terms of "No you're not!  We can do this!" to "Yes.  Yes you are."

What made this the lynchpin?  What changed in your relationship after reading that text?