After 3 years a text...

[Should I stay or...]

Hey Cry,

We are all human, weak with temptations.

If you're single and your ex asks you to come over and make love, would you consider the offer, even though there are consequences?

[once removed]

this (the Learning board) is the place to come to learn about making healthy(er) choices.

thats not to say dont rekindle or have sex with your ex. its to say dont just rush headlong into temptation. think it through. have a plan.

would you be interested in rekindling the relationship? friends with benefits? one night stand?

whichever youre considering, the plan/response might look different.

[toomanydogs]

Hey Cry,

We are all human, weak with temptations.

If you're single and your ex asks you to come over and make love, would you consider the offer, even though there are consequences?

Hi Should I Stay... .
  Yeah, we all are really weak. I can't tell you what to do, wouldn't even if I could.
  I know, for me, because disentangling from my STBX has been so painful and has taken so long, that the thought of saying yes to him makes me shudder.
  That said, I totally get it. There are times when I miss my STBX so badly, and then I think of how I've changed and how he'd have a new wife with reactions, that I ask myself, "Couldn't we make it work this time?"
  I'd never be able just to have sex with him though. Sex, for me, means re-commitment.
  Whatever you decide, good luck,
TMD

[heartandwhole]

Hey, Should I stay... .,

I commend you for pausing, taking time to reflect on your feelings, and seeking advice before deciding how you want to handle this situation. I’ve found that giving myself time before responding helped so much when pwBPD reached out to me years after our breakup.

I can fully understand the temptation to see her, too. You mentioned feeling strong enough now not to get pulled back into unhealthy dynamics. And yet, you haven’t reached out to her.

What do you think has stopped you from doing so thus far?

heartandwhole

[Should I stay or...]

Hi heartandwhole,

I don't know if I ever will contact her though the temptation to do so is there... .
if I did I wouldn't stay around for the ensuing apocalypse.

I've come to realize that loving her is a double edge sword, one side smooth the other side jagged. And, we all know what it feels like to be gutted with that jagged side, disemboweled, eviscerated! 

The irony of this whole situation is, during our relationship she had accused me of just wanting to F' her, she even screamed that in front of her children. And, now she texted me to come over and make love to her after three years of no contact. I hope she comes to realize now that wasn't the case? I guess if that's the only satisfaction I get out of this text then I'm satisfied.

[Insom]

Hey, Should I stay,

Would it be fair to say you feel torn between head and heart?  It sounds like you've thought and felt enough to know this isn't a workable relationship.  And at the same time you still feel a lot.  I can relate to feeling all mixed up.

I don't know if I ever will contact her though the temptation to do so is there... .

Would you like to say more about not knowing?  How does it feel to consider closing the door and simply knowing/deciding not to contact her?  How does it feel to not know what you'll do?     

[Should I stay or...]

 This would be the first time I've denied a women, and the women that I've loved the most! There will always be a hole in my heart of a love that was unrequited.
This is my temptation:
I'd love to smell and taste and hold her again just to replenish my senses and memories of my love for her that has now faded but has remained so real. Making love again together would replenish me. I could hibernate once again throughout the winter, without falling asleep and wishing she was there beside me. Always trying to remember her essences but now tasted once again.