Hello, I heartbroken over the end of my marriage to my husband after only 2 years, though we have known each other for 7. Just feeling confused and heartbroken.
Boy, can I commiserate DevastedinSD! I'm in the process of ending my 1 month marriage, known each other for 3 years. I, too, didn't know what I was dealing with until he went into a rage towards my mother 2 days after our wedding. Then, I looked up all the symptoms and borderline popped up. It all made sense at that point, the behaviors everything added up. Everything, I ignored... .(dealing with a little shame on my part).
I like you teetered back and forth. I love him immensely, but hate how he treats me. I gave him so much leeway. My UstbxBPDh had a horrible childhood. I wanted to be the one who made it all better for him. Who wouldn't abandon him. Who would made him feel whole. Exactly what you want to do, I'm sure. There is hope with treatment. However, as my psychologist said to me, "treatment will only be successful if he's the one seeking it out and he's the one who wants to improve. Not because you tell him to." Your mental health, safety and well-being should be paramount.
You're not borderline... .you're heartbroken at the end of what you hoped would be happiness for the rest of your life. That takes a lot of grieving.
Be nice to yourself.