So Cruel

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So music has been helping me a lot with recovering.  I've been listening to old albums to help me remember who I am and I've got some damn good break up albums too.

One of the albums I've been listening to is U2 "Achtung Baby".  I always hated this one song on it, "So Cruel" and have religiously skipped this track for decades now.  Turns out that I just needed to be in a relationship with a pwBPD to finally be able to get the song.  If this song was written about a BPD relationship, then I don't know what.  So I finally understand this song that has vexed me for years and that is one good outcome of my relationship HA.

You can see it on YT here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar2OTYKXnww

Lyrics below.  I'm highlighting lines that particularly stood out to me.  The title itself stands out because I had no idea how cruel my BPD ex was capable of being until the breakup.

We crossed the line
Who pushed who over?
It doesn't matter to you
It matters to me

We're cut adrift
We're still floating
I'm only hanging on
To watch you go down
My love

I disappeared in you
You disappeared from me
I gave you everything you ever wanted
It wasn't what you wanted

The men who love you, you hate the most
They pass through you like a ghost
They look for you, but your spirit is in the air
Baby, you're nowhere

Oh love
You say in love there are no rules
Oh love
Sweetheart
You're so cruel

Desperation is a tender trap
It gets you every time
You put your lips to her lips
To stop the lie

Her skin is pale like God's only dove
Screams like an angel for your love
Then she makes you watch her from above
And you need her like a drug

Oh love
You say in love there are no rules
Oh love
Sweetheart,
You're so cruel

She wears my love like a see-through dress
Her lips say one thing
Her movements something else
Oh love, like a screaming flower
Love, dying every hour, love

You don't know if it's fear or desire
Danger the drug that takes you higher
Head in heaven, fingers in the mire

Her heart is racing, you can't keep up
The night is bleeding like a cut
Between the horses of love and lust
We are trampled
Underfoot

Oh love
You say in love there are no rules
Oh love
Sweetheart,
You're so cruel

Oh love
To stay with you I'd be a fool
Oh, huhh
Sweetheart
You're so cruel

Do any of the lyrics stand out to you?  Do any describe your partner/ex?

[Educated_Guess]

So music has been helping me a lot with recovering.  I've been listening to old albums to help me remember who I am and I've got some damn good break up albums too.

One of the albums I've been listening to is U2 "Achtung Baby".  I always hated this one song on it, "So Cruel" and have religiously skipped this track for decades now.  Turns out that I just needed to be in a relationship with a pwBPD to finally be able to get the song.  If this song was written about a BPD relationship, then I don't know what.  So I finally understand this song that has vexed me for years and that is one good outcome of my relationship HA.

You can see it on YT here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar2OTYKXnww

Lyrics below.  I'm highlighting lines that particularly stood out to me.  The title itself stands out because I had no idea how cruel my BPD ex was capable of being until the breakup.

We crossed the line
Who pushed who over?
It doesn't matter to you
It matters to me

We're cut adrift
We're still floating
I'm only hanging on
To watch you go down
My love

I disappeared in you
You disappeared from me
I gave you everything you ever wanted
It wasn't what you wanted

The men who love you, you hate the most
They pass through you like a ghost
They look for you, but your spirit is in the air
Baby, you're nowhere

Oh love
You say in love there are no rules
Oh love
Sweetheart
You're so cruel

Desperation is a tender trap
It gets you every time
You put your lips to her lips
To stop the lie

Her skin is pale like God's only dove
Screams like an angel for your love
Then she makes you watch her from above
And you need her like a drug

Oh love
You say in love there are no rules
Oh love
Sweetheart,
You're so cruel

She wears my love like a see-through dress
Her lips say one thing
Her movements something else
Oh love, like a screaming flower
Love, dying every hour, love

You don't know if it's fear or desire
Danger the drug that takes you higher
Head in heaven, fingers in the mire

Her heart is racing, you can't keep up
The night is bleeding like a cut
Between the horses of love and lust
We are trampled
Underfoot

Oh love
You say in love there are no rules
Oh love
Sweetheart,
You're so cruel

Oh love
To stay with you I'd be a fool
Oh, huhh
Sweetheart
You're so cruel

Do any of the lyrics stand out to you?  Do any describe your partner/ex?

[JNChell]

u2  I had one of their CD ‘s once. My favorite band is The Allman Brothers Band. I recommend different versions of “Statesboro Blues”. That song was originally published by “Blind Willey McTell”. He was a blind man that played a 12 string guitar with a slide.

I’d like to recommend one more song. “Keep Your Heart Young”, Brandi Carlisle. You wanna talk about music, or your situation. I can relate to either one .

[Lostinthedesert]

I would totally agree that song is about someone who got caught up and nearly destroyed by a pwBPD!  The lyrics ring true for me... .thanks for sharing.  Music can be healing and I depend on it during this process for sure.

[Educated_Guess]

u2  I had one of their CD ‘s once. My favorite band is The Allman Brothers Band. I recommend different versions of “Statesboro Blues”. That song was originally published by “Blind Willey McTell”. He was a blind man that played a 12 string guitar with a slide.

I’d like to recommend one more song. “Keep Your Heart Young”, Brandi Carlisle. You wanna talk about music, or your situation. I can relate to either one .

Hi JNChell!  I'm embarrassed to say that I do not know as much about the Allman Brothers as I should.  I do know about Blind Willey though.  I loved the song!

A friend of mine ran into Greg Allman in an elevator once.  He was so stunned that all he could think to say was, "You are one of my Mom's favorites!" even though he idolized the Allman Bros.  He said Greg just kinda laughed it off and that he was really down to earth and cool to talk to.

I loved the Brandi Carlisle song too and the video was cute.  I'll have to listen to more of her work.

[Educated_Guess]

I would totally agree that song is about someone who got caught up and nearly destroyed by a pwBPD!  The lyrics ring true for me... .thanks for sharing.  Music can be healing and I depend on it during this process for sure.

Hi Lostinthedesert!  I'm glad you enjoyed it.  What songs or artists have helped you in this process?