BPD mom using kids for damage control...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

update:

turns out that the special ed teacher is very young and inexperienced. She finally talked to the previous special Ed teacher and then proceeded to profusely apologise to my husband for not letting him participate in the meeting and that the previous special Ed teacher sang his praises and that she will make sure that he will be part of all meetings and information from now on. She is so inexperienced that she forwarded an Email from a mental health professional from the school district to my husband that was only meant for her (special Ed teacher) eyes. She ended up having a call with my husband tonight where he outlined his concerns and was very direct in what his kids are saying to him and that he is very concerned about it. Her response was an audible : oh my ghosh!
She talked to my husband for a good 30 min on the phone and this poor girl now knows how ugly life /divorce can be. Especially for kids stuck in the middle.
Husband mentioned to me in a side note that he made an appointment with a T for him next week. I am beyond relieved. We also had a very good support group meeting yesterday (hubby and I are the leaders). There are a few men in the group that have gone through or are in similar struggles. My husband finally opened up and talked to one of them. In spite of all the ugliness I feel that those are some good things that have happened. I am grateful for the little steps and little blessings in life.
Thank you all for your wise words.

[soundofmusicgirl]

update:

turns out that the special ed teacher is very young and inexperienced. She finally talked to the previous special Ed teacher and then proceeded to profusely apologise to my husband for not letting him participate in the meeting and that the previous special Ed teacher sang his praises and that she will make sure that he will be part of all meetings and information from now on. She is so inexperienced that she forwarded an Email from a mental health professional from the school district to my husband that was only meant for her (special Ed teacher) eyes. She ended up having a call with my husband tonight where he outlined his concerns and was very direct in what his kids are saying to him and that he is very concerned about it. Her response was an audible : oh my ghosh!
She talked to my husband for a good 30 min on the phone and this poor girl now knows how ugly life /divorce can be. Especially for kids stuck in the middle.
Husband mentioned to me in a side note that he made an appointment with a T for him next week. I am beyond relieved. We also had a very good support group meeting yesterday (hubby and I are the leaders). There are a few men in the group that have gone through or are in similar struggles. My husband finally opened up and talked to one of them. In spite of all the ugliness I feel that those are some good things that have happened. I am grateful for the little steps and little blessings in life.
Thank you all for your wise words.

[worriedStepmom]

That is terrific news that your H is reaching out for help, and that he obviously pushed enough that the teacher decided to consult with her predecessor.  He *is* making progress, even if he can't see it yet.

[Panda39]

Yay!  Go Hubby!  I'm so glad he's sharing with the special ed teacher and the guys in your group, I'm sure he will receive validation.  Getting this stuff out really does help.  Does his sons' school have a school psychologist that might be someone your husband could also reach out to as well.  I think the more (normal) people in the boys world that can help the better since you are long distance.

Yay! to therapy too!  Maybe your husband is getting to some kind of tipping point. 

All good things 

Panda39

[Klera]

   Great news to hear and am so glad things sound like they are moving in a positive direction for you guys!   Keep in touch

Klera

[kells76]

Congratulations on the steps forward! I hope you are able to feel some weight off of your shoulders right now.