When did the mask come off of your BPD/npd?

[Newyoungfather]

Hello All,
I was just wondering when did you realized their was something off in your relationship with your ex BPD/npd.
Has anyone ever been in a relationship with a BPD that didn't involve the splitting of breaking up and getting back together again.

[HopelessBroken]

Accusatory negative behavior was five months in.
First of countless times he broke up with me was eight months in.
First all out verbal abusive attack was exactly one year in.
First of the cheating I “know of” was one year in.

[Newyoungfather]

HopelessBroken-I'm sorry to hear this, how long did your relationship last if I may ask. What made you stay.

[HopelessBroken]

It lasted 2.5 years. Several breakups by him and each time I would apologize (as it was always my fault) and we would pick up where we left off. I felt safe with him since I knew him as a friend first. He made me feel amazing. Everything I did was perfect. Physically I was stunning. I was the smartest person he knew. He is very intense and loves new experiences of going places and doing things. He liked everything I liked. Sexually, it was amazing. He talked constantly of a future and we had it all planned out. He would call me his unicorn.

Getting ripped off the pedestal each time was devastating. I would do anything to get back on, despite being so upset it kept happening. It was like an addiction. The threats, the verbal and emotional abuse, manipulating, controlling, the brainwashing, the cheating and the lying... .wasn’t enough for me to leave.

Despite me feeling like you work through issues in a relationship, why I stayed was more in depth. Through this relationship I lost respect, self worth, grounding, I started to question everything. Who am I? I was so broken down and brainwashed.  So much so that not only didn’t I leave. I begged him even this last time I was discarded to take me back.

Countless times I heard “ I am amazing. I’m what every woman wants. You are lucky to have me. If you leave, there are several waiting in line... .”

Never questioned that statement. I would agree each time that he was amazing.

Now when I even write that I’m thinking... .WHO SAYS THAT?

[Red5]

Six months in.

Dated for four years... .after the six month red flashing light, the break ups started.

I was clueless... .at the time.

We married at year four... .and separated six months after that for six months... .went to MC, still no clue about BPD... .

Been married now seven years, been pretty rough, HIGH conflict the whole time... .

I came upon BPD about twenty months ago, Jan 17 after almost complete break down of marriage... .now I know why this has been so hard... .

My story is long one.

Yeah mask slipped at six months in.

Red5