Is there hope?

[BreatheFirst]

My ex walked out 3 months ago.  He is moving firward on financial settlement and hasn't contacted me mych except things for the kids or the bank.

I miss him and want to talk to him to see if there is a future but wondering if its the right thing to do. He cheated on-line a few times and was emotionally abusive at times too so am wondering why I am I even thinking about this.

Should I try and talk to him?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[CryWolf]

I think you need to really ask yourself what you want in a life partner. Ask yourself what you want to spend your life with a decade from now.

You miss your ex, which is normal. If you contact him right now, how do you think the interaction would go? Please describe this to us. Are you hoping to rekindle things? If so are you okay with trust and sense of security with this person?

[BreatheFirst]

I get hamstrung by wamting the biological fa.ily to ve together. But as he is now I don't want that for another 10 years. Its hard to separate it out as its been tough with young children and finances being tight. Life hasn't been easy. But his PD behaviour is not good for me or the kids

If I were to contact him he would be angry as he is in a hostile stage at the moment. I am getying letters from his lawyer each week. I think he would reject any approach I made at the moment. I would like to rekindle things but trusting him again would be difficult given the suspected history of multiple infidelities plus the fact he has broken up with me and got back together 4 times previously.

[desperate.wife]

I get hamstrung by wamting the biological fa.ily to ve together. But as he is now I don't want that for another 10 years. Its hard to separate it out as its been tough with young children and finances being tight. Life hasn't been easy. But his PD behaviour is not good for me or the kids

I am sorry you have to go through this. I understand the need to keep family together. We want what is best for kids. At the same time, it is hard to decide what is best. The hope that husband get better is still there, right?
How is he with kids?

If I were to contact him he would be angry as he is in a hostile stage at the moment. I am getying letters from his lawyer each week. I think he would reject any approach I made at the moment. I would like to rekindle things but trusting him again would be difficult given the suspected history of multiple infidelities plus the fact he has broken up with me and got back together 4 times previously.

I guess you have the answer about contacting him  Trust has to be earned. What would have to change so you could be together?
Do you think this time will be the same as last 4 times? He would go back to you?

Hugs, DW

[Coastered]

Do what is right for you, not the kids.  If you do what is right for you then it WILL be right for the kids.  Their mother will be happy, that is all they really want after all.

I hope I make sense.  

How old are the children?