Adult 43 year old daughter

[Deva]

 :help:My 43 year old daughter is withholding our grandchildren from seeing me and my husband. We are heart broken. We are trying to follow all of the guidelines etc. I keep trying to learn how to deal with the outbursts, the false accusations etc. Don’t know what to do anymore.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[bluek9]

Hi Deva,

     WELCOME to this place. So very sorry to hear that you are heat broken, not seeing grandkids is devastating.   When you say trying to follow the guidelines, are those her rules? If so you may find that impossible to do. BPD's so often change "the guidelines" as they change their minds all the time. Can I ask what you are doing to deal with the outburst? That part alone is tiring and taxing on our hearts and minds. Sadly the false accusations go hand in hand with BPD. Next time you're here take a look to the right ----->> > the lessons and info are of great value in many ways. Being here is important too as you will find many parents here just like yourself. Parents who understand and get it. Again welcome, you're not alone.

[Feeling Better]

Hello Deva  

I would like to join bluek9 in welcoming you here.

I am so sorry to hear that your daughter is preventing you from seeing your grandchildren, how truly heartbreaking for you. Has something happened recently that has caused your daughter to react in this cruel way? How long is it since you last saw your grandchildren?

It sounds as though you are doing all that you can with your daughter but you say that you don’t know what to do anymore. May I suggest maybe taking a look at Lesson 2:If your current approach is not working - change it. You will find it here on the right  

Take care x  
 

[Huat]

Hello Deva.

Already you have received a warm welcome from Bluek9 and Feeling Better.  I will join in, too.

My daughter is now 52.  My grandchildren are 26/28.  I have walked in your shoes.  My heart goes out to you because never will I forget the pain of being separated from those little loves-of-our-lives... .the ultimate, gut-wrenching hurt.

Sadly, there isn't a button that can be pushed for a quick fix but there are definitely things YOU can do to bring about a change.  I echo Bluek9 and Feeling Better in pointing to Lesson 2 at the right... .a good starter, for sure.

Hope to read more posts from you, Deva.  Your journey is not an easy one but certainly a journey that is shared by many others.  Know that you are not alone.  Know that others are listening.  Know that support is here for you.   

Huat

[Deva]

Thank you for your encouragement. I will keep reading and reaching out.