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Parents! Get help here!
Saying "I need help" is a huge first step. Here is what to do next.
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Author Topic: Verbal abuse  (Read 423 times)
LearningHow
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1


« on: September 14, 2018, 07:13:22 AM »

Hi this is my first attempt at reaching out to others who are dealing with a loved one with BPD. I would like to know what i am experiencing with my daughter is common with this disorder. At the moment the verbal abuse is quite bad and I don’t know how to handle it well
Can anyone help me?
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Harley Quinn
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2839


I am exactly where I need to be, right now.


« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2018, 07:58:42 AM »

Hi  Welcome new member (click to insert in post)

Yes, you're in the right place for help and support.  We have that in abundance here, along with some excellent information and Lessons to get your teeth into.  If you look to the right of the page and also at the Tools (tab on the top menu), that's a great place to start.  The main thing that this place provides is somewhere to speak to others who can relate and are going through the same types of things, which is priceless.  You'll get a lot of value in reading and joining other threads, as there is a wealth of experience here.  I'm glad you found us.  

Can you tell us more about your daughter?  How old is she and is she formally diagnosed?  Any treatment?  Verbal abuse is very tough to deal with, especially from someone we love and care for, and it can help to identify triggers or patterns in order to prepare ourselves and be ready with healthy responses (rather than reactions) whenever possible.  No one gets it right every time, so don't beat yourself up.  What sorts of situations are you experiencing at the moment and how do these play out for you?

Things can and do get better.  We're here for you through the immediate situation and beyond.  Stay around - there is much to be learned here and you're in good company.  

I know other mothers will want to join with their own experience and advice.  We were all new here once and can relate to what feelings can accompany being driven to seek support.  I'm glad you reached out.       

Love and light x
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We are stars wrapped in skin.  The light you are looking for has always been within.
bluek9
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 257


we are full of color


« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2018, 01:21:00 PM »

Welcome Learninghow,

           I'm here to join Harley Quinn in telling yes you have found the right place.  Welcome new member (click to insert in post)  When I started 9 months ago I was ready to give up. I found this place by accident and have been here ever since. You are so right! The verbal abuse is so, so hard to take. It is absolutely devastating to a parents heart. And again yes, it is common with BPD. The best book I started with was I hate you, don't leave me. HQ is right when she says "things can and do get better".
My D use to de-regulate daily, meltdown and verbally abuse me like you couldn't imagine. It's not like she got better in the last 9 months; it's more like I learned more, got smarter, started dealing with her in a new way. Her mental illness is never going to go away or get better, that's a fact. It's also a fact that there is much I can do to help her change and learn about herself. Of course that brings about a saying you will hear a lot here: baby steps, nothing changes over night. So glad you are here.
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