I have a 25 yo daughter with BPD and Crohn’s disease

[Djmac10]

My BPD daughter has crisis after crisis.  Some are due to her Crohn’s.  She accuses me of neglect during her youth.  She lives 1600 miles away but very demanding and argumentative.  I have stopped all communication except email. 

In addition I have a 30 yo total care adult child with cerebral palsy I am responsible for daily.  I find myself scared of my BPD child and now guilty because I have put limitations on her.  She is very angry with me.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hello Djmac10

I am so very sorry to hear of your situation with your 25yr old daughter and also your 30yr old adult child with cerebral palsy, you certainly have a lot to contend with and my heart goes out to you 

You say that you find yourself scared of your daughter and also feel guilt because of the limitations that you have put on her, you very wisely put the limits there for your own protection and now your daughter is reacting to that in anger.
As to the fear and guilt that you are feeling maybe you could take a look at this link, you might find it useful:

Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)

I look forward to hearing your thoughts x