Feeling overwhelmed, guilty, stupid and unsafe

[kittie1234]

Just recognising that my husband of 14 years has BPD and probably NPD as well... .frequent angry aggressive outbursts toward myself and our child that seem to be increasing with frequency.  Feeling overwhelmed, grateful for finally finding something that makes some sense, guilty, stupid for getting involved with him in the first place, unsafe.  

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mindfried]

Hang in there sister. Start planning your escape plan if you already haven't and if you and your kids do get out don't look back. Life is to short not to be healthy, happy, and safe. Not trying to sugar-cote, it will be difficult.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey kittie1234, Welcome!  I'm sorry to hear that you feel unsafe with your H.  What leads you to believe that he suffers from BPD?  It's normal to feel overwhelmed.  If I may make a suggestion, it would be to treat yourself with kindness and compassion, rather than judging yourself as "guilty, stupid" for getting involved w/him.  Hey, we're human!  Who knew about BPD?  Don't beat yourself up.  It's one step at a time from here.

LuckyJim

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Kittie,

Welcome to the site.  

When you say you feel unsafe, are you at risk of physical harm?  Maybe you can tell us more specifics around the behaviour you experience from your H.  Has he made threats towards yourself or your child?  Who else knows about your situation at home?

We're here for you and this is a safe place to share.  Keep posting  

Love and light x