Empowerment in organization

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi all,

Maybe this post will be better suited to another group but I usually post here.

I just wanted to share what is an empowering and positive feeling with everyone.

After the holidays, BPDw and I will have mediation for divorce and more than likely we will finish in front of the judge soon afterward. I have already organized and given the lawyer the official documents of finances, belongings, marriage certificates, etc

The only part missing is my documentation of BPDw behaviors, emails, letters, photos, etc. I had always had a hard time documenting her in the beginning and slowly I did begin. Then over the last year or so I have always had a hard time just organizing it. Truly an aversion. But I finally overcame this aversion and I am organizing all the documentation as is recommended in Splitting.

My god is it empowering! Putting communications in chronological order, writing out summaries... .in essence connecting the dots... .wow it feels great!

I always knew I had everything “whenever I would need it” but I did not organize it. I should have organized all of this years ago... .my self esteem and inner worries would have been greatly diminished in advance.

If anyone is reading this and hasn’t started to document or to organize their documentation then I highly recommend it! Even if you decide to stay with your partner or whomever, the whole process of organizing is cathartic and extremely powerful!

Wishing my best to all and happy holidays!
LAT

[LightAfterTunnel]

Hi all,

Maybe this post will be better suited to another group but I usually post here.

I just wanted to share what is an empowering and positive feeling with everyone.

After the holidays, BPDw and I will have mediation for divorce and more than likely we will finish in front of the judge soon afterward. I have already organized and given the lawyer the official documents of finances, belongings, marriage certificates, etc

The only part missing is my documentation of BPDw behaviors, emails, letters, photos, etc. I had always had a hard time documenting her in the beginning and slowly I did begin. Then over the last year or so I have always had a hard time just organizing it. Truly an aversion. But I finally overcame this aversion and I am organizing all the documentation as is recommended in Splitting.

My god is it empowering! Putting communications in chronological order, writing out summaries... .in essence connecting the dots... .wow it feels great!

I always knew I had everything “whenever I would need it” but I did not organize it. I should have organized all of this years ago... .my self esteem and inner worries would have been greatly diminished in advance.

If anyone is reading this and hasn’t started to document or to organize their documentation then I highly recommend it! Even if you decide to stay with your partner or whomever, the whole process of organizing is cathartic and extremely powerful!

Wishing my best to all and happy holidays!
LAT

[kells76]

Hey LAT;

What a great spot you are in! I can almost hear how "light" and un-weighted down you're feeling

You sound like you've really taken the wheel in this process and are having an experience of being the driver, instead of being driven by something or someone else.

Your decision to take responsibility for facing the evidence and organizing the communications deserves kudos and is inspiring. Way to go!

 

kells76