Hi Everyone,
Here’s my introduction. My DH had a brain aneurysm 12 years ago that has turned him into a BPD/NP about half the time. He is moderately disabled (can’t work, goes to classes for people with brain injuries, sleeps a lot, and has very little drive.) He gets very angry very quickly, yells loudly, blames me for everything, makes threats, and is abusive verbally. The rest of the time he is his old self although still with the losses the aneurysm brought. The thing is you never know who you are going to get. There is no carryover.
I have 2 disabling conditions that keep me at home with him most of the time. I have accepted that the relationship we had is 90% gone but living together allows us to stay in the same house and neighborhood. I don’t have enough well days to househunt and move anyway.
But I still have not learned how to “manage” DH so he won’t blow up and when he does (several times a week lately) the way I cope is to go in the bedroom (he sleeps elsewhere) and not even speak to him for 3 days. This is in order to get my equilibrium back. Since I’m the one without the brain injury I’d like to learn to not set him off. I know his b ha joe is not my fault, I don’t have that particular problem. It’s the way I think and talk. I am matter of fact and honest. I don’t think I can become a great manipulator but maybe there is something in between?
Thanks in advance for any help you can offer!
Thealina
Welcome Thealina!
I'm relatively new here, too.
It sounds like your situation is difficult on several fronts, and your method of coping sounds like it works. Continue to visit here and to share thoughts and feelings on your situation as well as to comment on the situations of others. In that process I think you may find a level of support in the group here which will supplement what you are already doing.
A number of the moderators and others here may have some specific suggestions and or additional questions.
You've come to the right place. I'm curious, how did you find this group?
Welcome!
