Parent Is Scared Of Diagnosis

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Parent is scared of BPD diagnosis. How can I help without getting immersed into the same predictable cycle of their distress and not abandoning them too?

[SayItIsntSo]

Parent is scared of BPD diagnosis. How can I help without getting immersed into the same predictable cycle of their distress and not abandoning them too?

[Harri]

Hi and welcome. 

When you say they are scared of the disorder , are they in denial about the diagnosis or scared of what it means to be diagnosed with BPD or something else?

Not getting immersed is important for you so I am glad you are aware of that.  Here is an article that may help you:   The Do's and Don'ts of Being in a BPD Relationship  I hope this answers some of your questions.

So tell us more about you and your relationship.  It will be easier to talk and help you if we know more. 

[JNChell]

Hi, SayItIsntSo. It’s nice to have you here with us.

Parent is scared of BPD diagnosis.

So, the parent has been officially diagnosed? How do you feel about this? A pwBPD being scared about a diagnosis is rare.

Do you think that they are somewhat accepting it? That’s just a simple question.

Follow the link that Harri gave you.

[Turkish]

How is your parent scared of a Dx and how are you involved? What's the history behind this?

[Learnnow]

Hello, SayItIsntSo.

I have been dropping by to see what pearls of wisdom others have for you as responses might be helpful in my situation, too. 

Although you are aware of the characteristics of your parent and what their usual cycle of distress is, your readers are not.  I hope that you will be able to give a little more background about your parent, your relationship with him/her, and your goals. 

If a skilled therapist has shared this diagnosis with your parent, they are probably helping them process this information and understand that it is an explanation for why they have certain tendencies.  The diagnosis is a step in getting them therapies, tools, education, treatments for recovery.  In that case, professionals with knowledge of their specific condition are there for the, on their team so to speak.  You can be a sounding board and lovingly direct them to the professionals for treatment.  You can acknowledge that the diagnosis may sound frightening AND that they have reason to hope.  (E.G., Wow, that would probably scare me, too.  I understand.  This diagnosis helps point Dr XYZ  to tools that you can use to improve your life. )

If your parent has just stumbled across this and is self diagnosing, that is another scenario entirely.