Quick question about GAL’s

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I’m trying to prepare for an inevitable custody case. I’ve read about GAL’s here and I think that this could benefit my side of the situation.

My question is, are GAL’s appointed by the court, or are they requested by one of the parents?

Our Son is constantly shuffled around to various family members while he’s in her custody. Sister, mother, cousin. Her argument in the past has been that he doesn’t like to be exchanged between us as much as he had been. She took away 3 days out of the month (weekend) because she wants “more quality time” with him. She has also stated that she works almost every weekend and that he stays with whoever is available while she is working.

Also, she has taken in another child (dependent). This child’s mother is in jail and was addicted to crystal meth upon birth. It’s noble of my ex to take her in, but S3, 4 in less than a month is reporting that she is mean to him (hitting and punching). She’s at least twice his age. Her dad isn’t in the picture.

Mom will not discuss S3 when I ask questions or make suggestions. When she does respond it’s hostile and defensive. When the topic is serious, no response most times.

I went off on a tangent, but can a GAL be benificial to obtaining a 50/50 outcome, or at least a return to the status quo?

[JNChell]

I’m trying to prepare for an inevitable custody case. I’ve read about GAL’s here and I think that this could benefit my side of the situation.

My question is, are GAL’s appointed by the court, or are they requested by one of the parents?

Our Son is constantly shuffled around to various family members while he’s in her custody. Sister, mother, cousin. Her argument in the past has been that he doesn’t like to be exchanged between us as much as he had been. She took away 3 days out of the month (weekend) because she wants “more quality time” with him. She has also stated that she works almost every weekend and that he stays with whoever is available while she is working.

Also, she has taken in another child (dependent). This child’s mother is in jail and was addicted to crystal meth upon birth. It’s noble of my ex to take her in, but S3, 4 in less than a month is reporting that she is mean to him (hitting and punching). She’s at least twice his age. Her dad isn’t in the picture.

Mom will not discuss S3 when I ask questions or make suggestions. When she does respond it’s hostile and defensive. When the topic is serious, no response most times.

I went off on a tangent, but can a GAL be benificial to obtaining a 50/50 outcome, or at least a return to the status quo?

[Turkish]

Though I feel for that little girl,  your son needs to be safe.  You  can validate your son and coach him to withdraw, but how severe is it? My kids, 6 and almost 9, do hit each other (Sometimes there is crying),  but they don't punch.

[prof]

My question is, are GAL’s appointed by the court, or are they requested by one of the parents?

At least in my situation, my uBPDstbxw requested that a GAL be appointed.  Then the court appointed one.

[JNChell]

Turkish, I don’t know how severe it gets. I’d say severe enough for my son to bring it up. I don’t interrogate him. I just ask him how things are going and sometimes information comes out.

The girl in question is very underdeveloped. I’ve been around her enough to determine that. I didn’t know how drug riddled my ex’s family is upon getting involved with her, but it’s bad. The family runs on denial.

[JNChell]

Thanks, prof. In your experience, was there significant interaction between you and the GAL during the visit? Were there multiple evaluations, or just one? I appreciate your feedback.

[takingandsending]

JNChell,

GAL are court appointed but you should look into qualification requirements in your state. In my state, GAL have limited qualifications and are not always best representative for children. You can request a custody evaluator, who typically must have some degree in child psychology as a step up.

GAL and court are big on status quo but how long has your ex been reducing your visitation from 50/50 because if it’s been a while, that may be the new status quo. That is a sword that cuts two ways. Same for the new dependent child in the house. If the child has been there for some time and you are now raising concerns, court can say you accepted situation for x number of months without filing for change.

[DivDad]

Each state has its own laws and court direction for GAL’s.
 
In my state, and my case, I went back to court three times regarding my uBPDex violating the parenting schedule. (In my state, the court frowns upon violated parent schedules.) In Round number two, my attorney requested a court appointed parent coordinator. That worked out well.  In Round number 3, my L requested a GAL be appointed by the court.

In my state, (1) the court looks upon a court appointed GAL as representing the children in the court room.  i.e, I am represented by my L, my ex is represented by her L and the GAL represents the children. (2) the GAL had wide authority to investigate and visit both households, interview the children S11, S13, interview neighbors, friends, etc.  I submitted a list of 10 names.  My ex submitted a list of 0 names. (3)  The court appointed GAL had to be approved by me and my ex. (4)  The cost of the GAL was split 50/50.  (5)  There are two types of GAL’s.  Social workers and lawyers who have experience in GAL work.  My L submitted a list of GAL lawyers who were versed in court room proceedings.  My L did NOT want a GAL social worker.  Some are good, some not so good.   (6)  At the end, the GAL wrote a 19 page summary report that I could not have written better.  Once my ex and her L read the report, they capitulated on all the contempt motions.
 
Again, you need to inquire how much legal/courtroom leeway a GAL garners in your state.