Daughters suicide

[Brookesmom]

I lost my 21 year old daughter on May 2, 2018.  She took her own life.  A hospice counselor helped me discover that she was most likely suffering from BPD.  I took my daughter to doctors and counseling and inpatient rehabilitation fascilities, but she was never diagnosed.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Hyacinth Bucket]

Hi Brooke'smom,

I am so sorry to hear that your daughter took her life, heartbreaking. Suicide is horrifyingly common in people with BPD. I  hope that this community can bring you some comfort and maybe some closure.

How are you doing? Do you feel like the diagnosis of BPD matches after reading more about it?

With love,
HB

[Harri]

Hi and welcome. 

I am so sorry but I am glad you have reached out here for support and to share your story and that of your daughter.

Please share more of your story and about your daughter as you feel the need and want to. 

[wendydarling]

Hi Brooke's Mom

I'm so sorry for your loss.

We are here for you, whatever you feel up to sharing, or questions you have. Did your daughter receive any kind of diagnosis?

WDx

[Huat]

Hello Brooke'sMom

It is hard to find the right words to say to a Mom who has lost her child other than... .my heart goes out to you.

I, like those who have posted above, am glad you have reached out to this caring community.  Be it here or anyplace else, Brooke'sMom, I urge you to keep reaching out for a hand to hold... .or arms that will give you the hugs you need... .or ears that will listen.

We are here if you want to share as much or as little about your precious, Brooke... .whatever feels comfortable to you.  Come at any hour of the day or night.  Know that you will be heard.

{{{HUGS}}} from one Mom to another.

Huat

[Turkish]

I can't comprehend losing one of my kids so tragically, and it is tragic that despite the support you gave and professional involvement, she chose to end her life. Sometimes only a person in their own pain can only truly comprehend its depths.

I hope that this helps, if even a little: 
Recovering From Suicide Loss

Turkish

[Fie]

Brooke'sMom,

I am not finding the right words, I am sorry. How on earth can I say the right thing to someone who has lost her child.

Welcome to this community. Please come here every time you feel the need to. People will listen.

When you feel you want to, please tell us more about your daughter and about you.

Fie

[LoveOnTheRocks]

Hi Brooke'sMom: I am so sorry that you lost your daughter.  I know you speak solid truth when you say that you tried to learn and understand what was going on with your daughter. Many of my initial posts on this group board express my utter frustration and anxiety over these last 19 years with our now newly diagnosed daughter.  We have been with counseling and doctors since she was literally 6 years old (issues started at age 1.5).  It was not until 2018, when she was 18 years old, that we heard for the first time, BPD.  Worse still is that for all of the years we were all going to therapy week after week, the information we were getting was that she was ODD and ADHD and so our instructions on how to "handle and deal with" her were some of the worst for a person suffering with BPD.  We have so much bad water under the bridge as a result of all the misdiagnosis (and hearing that doctors won't diagnose until age 18 is like salt to a wound... .because believe me, we couldn't just tread water in place for all of those years... .we were actively seeking and working for information to help us get things working well... .it has been a disaster and heartbreaking and I now have PTSD from all that we've been through.  Our daughter is doing better now, since we got the right diagnosis and have begun working under the umbrella of what to do and what not to do with a child with BPD, but still, a lot of damage over the years in the absence of a good dx.

Do you want to talk about what happened in your situation? 

[StepMonster]

Brooke's Mom,
I am so heartbroken for you. You're living through the worst fear most of us have on this site. Knowing the nature of the problem is a huge help, but it's not a cure. My DD15 has attempted suicide twice, has bulimia and is cutting herself. Living with her is hard, but I cannot imagine what it would be like to live without her. I wish I could send you a real hug through the internet.
StepMonster

[KHC_33]

I am so sorry. My 18 year old just as diagnosed last Friday. They misdiagnosed her and gave her wrong meds.

I am going after the psychiatrist that previously treated her and medicated her. As soon as I print out the forms for complaint against College of Physicians.

Last few years she kept saying the meds weren't working. I am mortified that my daughter suffered as badly as she did but proud she fought those battles cold handly! The new psychiatrist said the meds could have induced bipolar type 2 (we won't know until further into treatment).

Tight hugs. My condolences to you. I am terrible sorry for your lost.