I need help and you might have the experience I need

[BPD252]

My therapist referred me to the book.  I am listening to the book as I write this.  It has been too long suffering and I am ready for a change.  I hope she is ready as well, because she does not want therapy yet. She thinks she is right and anyone else is wrong.
She can work, perform better than others.  Her BPD behaviour is becoming constant and happening almost every week now.
There is no physical violence towards us or herself but since it is getting worse I am worried.
I am not sure what to do. I have to agree with her on everything because she would not have it any other way.   Even her relatives are making me agree with her now.
I am in a difficult situation now as I am unemployed and fighting and winning cancer.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[BPD252]

My goal today is making her doing things that make her happy so she would not relapse to yesterday's behaviour. Then I will start asking why she is behaving like that.  I did record her so she would not say she did not shout and curse. She denied her bad BPD behaviour before.

[Harri]

Hi and welcome to the board.  I am glad you found us.  You will find as you read that you are not alone. 

First, let me say I am very glad to read that you are beating cancer!  That is wonderful news.  Being ready for change is a good thing.  We can help you with that.  It sounds like you are pretty vulnerable right now so it is good that you are reaching out for support. 

Can you tell us more about the behaviors you are experiencing that make you and your T suspect BPD?  Also, you mentioned that you have to agree with her and even her relatives expect you to do so.  Can you give us an example?  It will make it easier to help you if we know more details.

As for telling her about BPD, usually that does not go over too well and we recommend not saying anything especially is she is in denial about her own behaviors. 

I hope to hear more from you soon.