Finding more help for self

[Depression = 72% of members]

I posted earlier regarding my mother with undisgnosed BPD. It seems like a cycle where she will have these flare ups then eventually resolve for the time being then the next thing something as small as it may be triggers her we’re back to square one. I feel like this board had been so extremely helpful and I have also read Walking on Eggshells and Surviving a Borderline Parent but at this point feel like having my own therapist that I could bounce my own experiences off of would be really helpful. Can you guide me in how to find a professional in my area who would have experience working with family members of someone with BPD? Thank you!

[Yorkie]

I posted earlier regarding my mother with undisgnosed BPD. It seems like a cycle where she will have these flare ups then eventually resolve for the time being then the next thing something as small as it may be triggers her we’re back to square one. I feel like this board had been so extremely helpful and I have also read Walking on Eggshells and Surviving a Borderline Parent but at this point feel like having my own therapist that I could bounce my own experiences off of would be really helpful. Can you guide me in how to find a professional in my area who would have experience working with family members of someone with BPD? Thank you!

[Harri]

Hi Yorkie!

We do recommend and support members seeking professional help so that is good.  Have you ever been in therapy before?

Finding a good therapist will often depend on how you feel with someone and what they can offer you.  Are you willing to be challenged in sessions to change the way you are thinking and coping with certain events?  Or do you want more validation and someone who will listen and offer sympathy? 
Do you want to see a psychologist or a social worker? 

Making phone calls to ask questions will help a great deal.  Ask about insurance coverage, cancellation policies, how long session last, if they have worked with adult children of pwBPD? 

Then making an appointment is the best way to find a good fit.

You can do a google search of therapists/counselors in your area and that will often provide you with a list of disorders they are familiar with.   I would double check when you call though.

  I did a lot of work here when i first came as I did not realize I needed more help and then when I did I could not afford therapy.   When things changed for me, I was able to do both therapy and work here.  What makes you want to get a therapist of your own?  (I think it is a good idea BTW).   

[Yorkie]

Thank u, no I have never been to therapy before but because I feel like this is years in the making and also a long term battle that I consistently fight it would help me learn to cope and communicate more effectively. Also I feel bad that I constantly rely on my husband for help with how to deal and althought he never complains I would love to burden him less with this particular issue. I am absolutely willing to be challenged, I dont want a “yes man” I want someone who can help me determine the best course of action whether its difficult or not. I hope to find someone skilled with someone in my situation. I feel like my google results have been limited to therapists who have patients themselves with BPD and finding a therapist who has lots of experience with adult children of BPD is a bit difficult.

[Harri]

Hi again.  Are you near a large hospital that has a behavioral health/psych department?  I find that is where I've had my best therapy experiences.  The psychologists can help me with my PTSD,  they are much more clued into dysfunctional behavior and can identify it faster and they have a broader variety of patients.

If you are near a teaching hospital even better.  If they are supervising students they are for sure more up to date in their education. 

[Yorkie]

Yes I am located by a few large hospitals- do many take outpatients? I was under the impression that was an inpatient higher acuity basis?

[Harri]

The ones near me have an outpatient unit that takes all sorts of people.  There are both psychiatrists and psychologists as well as social workers on staff.  They also have a separate inpatient unit that I know nothing about (thankfully!)  The outpatient unit offers individual and group therapy sessions.

the inpatient unit also offer day long programs for anxiety, PDs, etc.

Ask about their outpatient services.