Exit strategy

[Ozzie101]

I'm not sure if this is the right board for this post but hopefully I have it right.

In a way, I'm in a "conflicted" situation with my uBPDh, who is emotionally and verbally abusive. I'm now seeing a DV counsellor and I don't know at this point if I'm going to stay in my marriage or leave it -- or just take a break.

I know there are members here who have some experience in leaving a marriage to a pwBPD. If I do decide to leave, I want to do it in the safest, kindest way possible. I still love him. If I leave, it will be because I can't tolerate his treatment of me anymore, not for lack of love or caring.

I'm not talking about fleeing the home if he becomes physically violent. I've been advised about how to do that. More like a calm, planned, long-term departure. I just wondered if members here had personal experience or advice to share on how they did it (or how I SHOULDN'T do it). Is it best to tell him in a calm moment? Wait until he's out of town (which seems cruel, especially to someone with abandonment issues)?

I know this is something I can discuss with my DV counsellor but I value the advice of people on this board.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

we have a PDF here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=305771.0

does any of it help?

[Ozzie101]

That does help. Thank you!