Sorry for the length. No one will probably read this haha
With enough people, a "near zero" probability means someone will eventually read it.
I met my friend of 4 years online after trying to help several people from committing suicide
I wanted so much for her, more than I wanted for myself
I felt honored she told me because I desperately wanted to help her
I urged her to get professional help... .
I sacrificed my time and put in so much effort hoping shed get better
This was your role in the relationship, to take care of her. She needed that at the moment, but when she was "better" she would run off into the sunset. I know there's a connection you felt with her, but the foundation was a need to nurture, when that was exhausted, as in, she stopped being the vulnerable friend you knew and became aggressive and demanding, the relationship sort of fell apart.
... .apologizing immensely, and asked her how I could make things better
I accepted I had done her wrong so I kept to myself.
I asked for forgiveness, but I told her that as much as I did unintentionally
It's not wrong to try to help a friend, but when you need for them to be under your care, things can get "unstable", particularly if you believe you're doing harm when you're not quite sure even
how you could possibly be doing harm when you're desperately trying to help her, to the point of internalizing it: "she says I done her wrong, I don't know how, I don't think I have, and yet I accept it,
I did her wrong"
She left for a week and I was extremely confused and extremely pained
This is very telling, being away for a week is not a long time. In fact, people regularly meet only over the weekends and there doesn't seem to be a distancing issue. Others meet once a month or even after years of zero contact, and yet they act just as if they were together the day before.
Again, its not wrong to miss your friend, but there was something going on.
I guess im wondering where I went wrong?
There's nothing wrong you did. In particular this line says a lot about the image she painted and the reality of her relationships, yours included:
She made it seem like everyone hated her when in actuality the people I talked to that knew her glorified her as one of the best people they’ve ever met.
Do you think people who "glorified her" would cause as much harm to her as she said you did to her?
How can I help her?
You can't, not in the way you would expect anyway.
You can't "make her better", but you can make your relationship with her better.
Take it for what it is, know that she is hyper reactive and has a twisted perception of reality, it is not about you, its about her and her self protection, even trying to "help her" is seen as an attack: "why would she want to help me unless there's something wrong with me?
she thinks there's something wrong with me, she's out to get me, she's trying to hurt me"
Should I leave for good?
If you want to pursue the relationship, know this situation is not likely to change, it's up to you to decide if you actually want to.