Asking my ex girlfriend if she has BPD

[Dumped18]

After a beautiful romantic relationship that lasted a whole year, my girlfriend suddenly dumped me. Only a week earlier, she told me I was the man of her dreams. We still talk, and she considers me one of her best friends, but she behaves as if we never had an intimate relationship at all. I’ve now concluded that she has BPD. I would like to bring the topic up to her, but fear she would never want to talk to me again. I also get the feeling she is very promiscuous. But I love her, and am still so attracted to her. What should I do?

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[once removed]

hi Dumped18, and

did she give any reason for the breakup?

[Luan]

Sorry you are going through this Dumped18,

What other things have happened that make you think she may have a mental health issue? Unfortunately being suddenly dumped is something that can happen in any relationship. If you were right and she is a person with BPD, mentioning it now could be one of the worst things you could do. If you have let her know that you care about her and the door is open to her returning, as hard as it may be now is a time to focus upon yourself and give her the space to sort things out. Any efforts to 'talk about it' will likely make matters worse.

[Upandown]

I think it's 90% she has a personality disorder.  Based on the extremely rapid change from man of her dreams to friendzoned.  Although you haven't said if she exhibited any other behaviors during the one year.  If she continues to pretend that you never had a serious, intimate relationship; and won't talk about it objectively; then I would consider asking discretely about past problems she may have had with romantic relationships in general; or even family and friendships.

[itsmeSnap]

I would like to bring the topic up to her, but fear she would never want to talk to me again

I did tell my gf I knew about BPD and she related to most symptoms when I told her, but she never acknowledged she had it though I'm sure she knew before and played dumb.

What exactly do you wish to happen from her telling you she has BPD?

Maybe she doesn't know she has it, or can't put a name on it even if she has the symptoms, maybe she knows and will play forgetful like my gf.

I also get the feeling she is very promiscuous. But I love her, and am still so attracted to her.

If you're willing to put up with her promiscuity then play the game, friend with benefits or whatever you and her agree to; she seems more comfortable with some emotional distance (best friend vs date).

If not you need to do some serious soul searching about why you want in on a relationship you know you have an issue with (as in, you want exclusivity while you know she can't manage it)