My daughter recently diagnosed: things make sense now

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi. So my daughter had recently been diagnosed with BPD. Alot of things make sense now. It's very hard because it didn't start until college. Stress, etc. We finally got her into a 30 day program which diagnosed her. I am now going to counseling to understand it, learn boundaries, etc. Before she had left she moved back home. Since she had been back she had been going to counseling once a week and both the counselor and the program told her to get into dpt therapy. It's been a month and she hasn't. She hasn't looked for work either. We are about to move into our new home and I honestly don't know if I can have her live with us. She comes and goes. Barely helps. Meets with people on tinder and is gone over night. Leaving her dog no less. This is a time my husband and I have been looking forward to... .Move into a new home on a beautiful piece of land. Looking forward to the peace. I could go on and on and then I would break down again. Can anyone help with advise? By the way she is 27.

[ScorneliaK]

Hi. So my daughter had recently been diagnosed with BPD. Alot of things make sense now. It's very hard because it didn't start until college. Stress, etc. We finally got her into a 30 day program which diagnosed her. I am now going to counseling to understand it, learn boundaries, etc. Before she had left she moved back home. Since she had been back she had been going to counseling once a week and both the counselor and the program told her to get into dpt therapy. It's been a month and she hasn't. She hasn't looked for work either. We are about to move into our new home and I honestly don't know if I can have her live with us. She comes and goes. Barely helps. Meets with people on tinder and is gone over night. Leaving her dog no less. This is a time my husband and I have been looking forward to... .Move into a new home on a beautiful piece of land. Looking forward to the peace. I could go on and on and then I would break down again. Can anyone help with advise? By the way she is 27.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hello ScorneliaK and Welcome to BPD Family  

I'm so sorry for the circumstances that have brought you here but am really glad you found us, that you reached out for support.  

You are not alone in coming here and posting through tears, Scorneila, far from it. It helps to talk about it, tears and all, it can be very healing. Good to hear you're going to counseling for support for yourself as you learn how to cope. Is your counselor familiar with people with BPD (pwBPD)?

A diagnosis, as you've found, can bring relief - there's finally a name for what has likely been very confusing behavior.

There's a lot of information on this site about BPD, and it can be overwhelming, so take it at your own pace. A good place to start is  HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS SITE.

The best thing you can do is to keep posting, sharing, let us support you. Ask any questions you like, we are listening and want to help. We have all been there, are there, learning together about this disorder. Reading and posting in others' threads is also very helpful as you will come to see that you are not alone.

How long until the move-date? Has there been any discussion with your DD (daughter) about her plans when you move? Does she expect to move with you?

Again, welcome ScorneliaK. I look forward to getting to know you and how best we can support you.

~ OH

[Harri]

I am joining in with Only Human to say .  She covered pretty much everything I was going to say and ask so I am not going to repeat anything.   

Please, as you feel more comfortable, share more so we can better help and support you.  In the mean time, I hope you settle in and get comfortable here.  We get it.