Need ideas on healing and moving forward - Books, Audiobooks, Docos or Articles

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi,

Looking for some suggestions (Books, Audiobooks, Documentaries and/or Articles) to help in healing, moving forward in life from a traumatic upbringing, and most importantly anything on discovering your own voice. For years of having a uBPD mother in my life, i mostly had her voice in my head for everything, was afraid of doing things or trying things without her approval, and i fell into depression while on a career path and let a lot of people down due to being so depressed and not getting things done - almost falling off my career path as I almost fell out of love with it and wondering why i did it to begin with. I am trying to discover my own voice, going to therapy and counselling to deal with the issues of my past and the depression, and just trying to find things that make me happy really.

This might also help others who might be going through similar circumstances. If there are suggestions for courses also, that might be interesting.

Any suggestions would be great 

[Daniel H]

Hi,

Looking for some suggestions (Books, Audiobooks, Documentaries and/or Articles) to help in healing, moving forward in life from a traumatic upbringing, and most importantly anything on discovering your own voice. For years of having a uBPD mother in my life, i mostly had her voice in my head for everything, was afraid of doing things or trying things without her approval, and i fell into depression while on a career path and let a lot of people down due to being so depressed and not getting things done - almost falling off my career path as I almost fell out of love with it and wondering why i did it to begin with. I am trying to discover my own voice, going to therapy and counselling to deal with the issues of my past and the depression, and just trying to find things that make me happy really.

This might also help others who might be going through similar circumstances. If there are suggestions for courses also, that might be interesting.

Any suggestions would be great 

[Harri]

Hi Daniel.   

I don't have book suggestions but I would suggest you begin to explore the idea of self-differentiation.  I gave you a link (before I read this thread) to the Bowen Center.  I think you will find a lot of good information there to begin with.

I will also ask a couple of members who are more familiar with books if they can make suggestion.  In the meantime, check out our Library Boards.   

[hotncold]

Hi, I've read a great deal of books that have helped me in my recovery. Some are about dealing directly with having a parent with BPD traits, but I find the ones that were most helpful were the ones that helped me focus on myself. I experienced career burnout, and eventually ended up in a job that was crushing me and that resembled some of my childhood dynamics. I developed more and more anxiety as a result and finally quite for my own health and well being. In addition I have done therapy, lots of meditation, and explored artistic passions that I had back when I was very young but left behind. So here are a few resources i have found helpful in my own recovery:

Reinventing your life: the breakthrough program to end negative behaviour by Jeffrey Young. This book was especially helpful in identifying my own patterns and helping me break them.

The artists way - is certainly a way for you to help find your voice. It is a guide on how to become re-acquainted with yourself by daily free writing, as well as other little habits, such as taking yourself out on a date to do something you love.

It's not you it's what happened to you, by Christine Courtois. Helps put childhood trauma in context.

I enjoy podcasts by Tara Brach, she has a few books as well, although I have not read them.

Brene Brown's books, Daring Greatly is a good one to start with.

7 habits of highly effective people is not so much emotional as it is a helpful guide on structuring your life and understanding how prioritizing.

I would say these books are all about focusing on yourself, not the person with BPD in your life. While I have read "stop walking on eggshells" I actually find that self-actualization is a much better approach to getting your life back.

[Harri]

Hot and cold said: 

I actually find that self-actualization is a much better approach to getting your life back.

I agree.