Looking for help and support

[cecile]

Hi the last 5 years has been the hardest and the most helpless with my daughter. I reached out only to receive wrong diagnoses. Medication and advises that brought more crises and damages in our home . Ppl, friends, members of our community, and family around us critising and judging that I am just not doing enough, too much nor the right things.
Reading Walking on eggshell has been such revelation and gave me a little flash of hope. When a crises occurs it is violent and very isolating. I feel alone having to deal with my daughter's condition. I am hoping I can find a parent support group who understand and thrive like I am to be part of the solution to be a support to ourselves and who ever has BPD. I am looking for someone who specialise with BPD with teen to work with her and our family. Thank you.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[hope2727]

Hello and welcome. I am so sorry you are enduring all that. You are not alone. There are many others here who have similar experiences. I can't speak to having a child with BPD as I came due to a partner. However, I have learned so much from all the people in al the forums here. Please keep reading and keep posting. there are great lessons posted here along with videos and book reviews. Explore the site and keep writing. Others will chime in with more specific advice. I can tell you this. Ignore people who judge you. As hard as it is to be judged we have to ignore them and their ignorance. They won't understand unless they experience it and you wouldn't wish it one them.

[StressedOutDaily]

Hi - I am brand new here also.  I also have a DD with BPD and feel the same way, the past few years have been so difficult.  We have not shared our difficulties or issues with anyone in our family or our friends - for fear of harsh judgement of her and us.     I recently found a support group (we have not yet attended) and someone to work with my daughter and our family (she is refusing to go, but the therapist is helping us with this) through the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder  https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/

SOD

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Cecile,
I am glad to meet you but sorry for the circumstances. My 24 year old son has been diagnosed with BPD. He is also addicted to cannabis which he sells for money. It isn't easy. I know what you mean about people judging you. Sometimes I feel like people are judging me too as if my son's illness was my fault. Sometimes I even blame myself. It seems like motherhood and guilt go together. But the truth is I did not cause this. It is a disease. If my son had cancer everyone would sympathize but mental illness is very unfairly stigmatized. I feel like we need to advocate for each other while we advocate for our children. It is hard. But I can honestly tell you there is hope. Things can get better. We can learn skills that help us communicate better with our children and help them. You have come to the right place. The parents here are very wise. We are learning together. I hope you stick around.

[Only Human]

Hello cecile 

I join others in welcoming you to BPD Family.

I'm so sorry to hear that reaching out for support has led you to feel judged by your community, family, and that you feel alone and isolated. Many parents will be able to relate to what you have written, you are not alone here - we get it.

How old is your daughter? Is she receiving treatment for BPD now?

Medication and advises that brought more crises and damages in our home .

When a crises occurs it is violent and very isolating

Are you safe?

~ OH

[cecile]

Hi and thank you for replying. Unfortunately we are not receiving help and support at this time because we don't have anyone around our area who specialize in helping teen with BPD. My daughter was also diagnosed with severe ADHD last week and all the focus is on that right now, and i am not sure that this right. The reason I writing here is to try and find a link or a connection with a BPD specialist doctor, my daughter could see and work with. She has asked for help herself. She is heartbroken every time she looses her friendships and this happens so often. She said she doesn't want to lose me as well and that s why she realised she needed support and help. We are located in Baraboo Wis.

[Only Human]

I'm so sorry to hear that there aren't any therapists in your area who specialize in helping teens with BPD.

I hope someone else will come by with some suggestions. At this moment, I'd like to share this resource with you in hopes that you can find someone who may help, despite not having the "specializes in... ." qualifier:

Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder

It warms my heart to hear that she has asked for help, has told you she doesn't want to lose you. She trusts you, that says a lot, cecile

I'm glad you are here, reaching out for support, you are not alone. It helps to talk, and especially to read and participate in others' threads, as FaithHopeLove, StressedOutDaily, and hope2727 have done in your thread here.

Hang in there, cecile, we're here.

~ OH

[wendydarling]

Hi Ceilia

Welcome to family. 

I am sorry you have no local resources for your DD, it's so frustrating. Do you think your DD may engage online with DBT, skills learning?

WDx