Is there any hope?

[TonyOz]

Hi everyone,
I recently was told my wife has BPD... .so I am currently reading the Eggshells book and trying to understand as much as I can.
We've been married 2 years and after 4 months my hell started. I was accused of having an affair and my life got more stressful  as the accusations /visits to my work and violence began. I rang the police at one point (just to calm her down) but it made things worse and I have had to endure countless sleepless nights and nights in hotels... .We are both isolated from friends and family (distance mostly) so my wife and I have few people to get ideas from about our situation... .I'm not sure but our 10 month old baby is having regular and intense aggressive outbursts which can't be normal... .I live in constant fear of my wife... .She explodes regularly. Seeing psychologists is hard because if I set them straight on what is actually going on she will never see that person again. If I don't set them straight they tell her she is a victim of a manipulative husband. She has nobody and generally she is a good mother... .I can't leave... .but I feel my grasp on normal diminishing every day... .I know I need to read more about BPD... .but can someone suggest a solution... .I'm slowly becoming less me.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

hi TonyOz, and

let me be the first to tell you, that yes, there is hope.

i would also tell you that things wont be solved overnight, and generally speaking, you dont want to tackle too much too soon.

i hope that youll stick around and make yourself at home as part of the family here. experts will tell you that a strong, consistent support system, is really critical.

you mention that violence began at about four months. can you tell us when the last incident was? how did things become worse when you rang the police?

[TonyOz]

Hi Once removed,

My wife has not been as violent as she was when our marriage was 4 months old. She chased me with chair and constantly threw things at me.
Recently the fights are more regular but it just involves angry insults and sleep deprivation (she won't let me sleep).
Once the police were involved she says she can no longer trust me and constantly talks about the horrors of a police cell etc... .Most of the fights after the police were involved were just about the fact the police were called at all... .She forgets I rang them because she would not let me leave the apartment and I was bleeding from hits from the chair and her nails... .If it wasn't so traumatic it would be a great laugh.

[once removed]

sleep deprivation is tough. im fiercely defensive of my eight hours 

so what leads up to it when it happens? is she wanting to fight about something? keep an argument going?