anyone else’s pwBPD scream or squeal at nothing?

[HappySandra]

Like a really over-exaggerated startle response? I just walked into the room and my husband screamed and physically jumped. It drives me absolutely nuts when he does that. Another time he opened the toilet door without knocking when I was there and he screamed and slammed it closed. Wtf!

Is this a BPD thing?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Red5]

My uBPDw will make a lot of "disassociated" rapid eye (blinking her eyes, like she's got something in her eyes... blink blink blink?) and facial movements (like blowing out of her cheeks?), and stern facial expressions (overt frown)… how to describe this (?), like she will make a statement, like "did you take out the trash, no?NO!, why NOT!, YOU NEVER do anything I tell you to do", this will be followed by a searing glaring look, and very rapid blinks of her eyes, and facial expressions very rapidly, and repeatedly, like blowing up of her cheeks, blowing air out of her mouth, not a "sigh", but like a "hiss"… like the stern teacher, poking out her bottom lip, and shaking a large wooden ruler in your face… and staring you down…

Its like she is yelling at me with her eyes?

I sometimes wonder, if the blinking eye thing is from some childhood wound scenario… like maybe she "stood up" for herself, and then mom or dad, or maybe a sibling (older) came after her either physically or verbally... .so instead of verbal response, she resorted to facial (eye) response, silent but not silent, but a visual "FU"…

So she has integrated this eye/facial thing… into her mode of aggressive behaviors, when she is coming after me… its some kind of defensive thing, in case I were to return the behaviors back to her (fight back)… which over time, I leant not to do anymore…

Remember playing the "hand slap" game when you were a kid… some liken response here I think, you move your hand a little bit, but you know if you aren't fast enough, you'll get your hand slapped… its an adrenaline thing (?)... .

Its ingrained in her, she does it all the time, well, we are separated now.

No telling, but the screaming thing you describe is odd…

I can also relate to a "high pitched" voice "variation" when BPD is about to show up… "babe, did you take out the trash this morning before you left for work?" (ambush-setup-trap-a___test)… voice variation is high, almost "squeaky"… makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up, because I know what's coming… (c/ptsd)… one of her foo sisters' H related the same to me about his wife (older foo sis)… so it is a foo thing with the three sisters, probably from their mother, which money says, is "generational".

Ok, I got it… do you remember the old sitcom, "Third Rock from the Sun"?… the French Stewart character "Harry Solomon"… if you watch the show, his character does the same thing… he will say something, blink his eyes, close his eyes, and puff out his cheeks, make "facial expression's"… uBPDw does the exact same thing, but add "anger"… what is up with that?, I don't know.

All very interesting, if you can look at it that way,

Thanks for sharing HappySandra!

Red5

[Harri]

Hi.

I don't think this is specifically related to BPD but I can see where heightened emotions would lead to a heightened startle response like you describe.

I can also see where this would be annoying to deal with.  Talk about an adrenaline rush!   

[radoe]

Yes

This happens to me a lot.

A piece of furniture that has been there is suddenly in the way.

I am looking at them, and suddenly I am staring and giving them the creeps.

I insignificant error is made, and now I can not be trusted.

It happens

[Red5]

… I noticed years ago when we were dating… endless "twiddling" (nervous action?), of her fingers, while she is a passenger riding down the highway… I'm driving, also while sitting on the couch, or in a chair… like her mind is going a thousand miles and hour (thoughts)… but she is staring at the television, and not saying anything... .

A "nervous twiddling", thumbs,

Another movie analogy… the Susan Parrish character in the older movie, "Meet Joe Black", this character does a lot of the head and eye movement stuff too.

… interesting,

Red5

[once removed]

some people startle more easily. about 75% of the time i engage my mom when she isnt looking, she jumps. she does not have BPD.

[Tsultan]

I recently read an excellent book written by a pwBPD titled "Get me out of here" My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder written by Rachel Reiland.  I wanted to learn more about what it is like for a pwBPD so I could better understand and gain some compassion for what they deal with.  It helped.  Plus, her story is a success story as she has had positive outcome in her recovery journey healing from her BPD.  I recommend this book. It also helped me heal from some of my own childhood shame as well.  

In her book, she mentions that she would go into this "squealing" type scream just before she would dis-regulate.  I remember trying to figure out what that might sound like every time I read her talking about it.  

I don't think it's specific to BPD but just another way to express strong emotions.

Hang in there!
Tsultan