What's a great way to spend Valentine's Day

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

For many people, Valentine's Day is not a very happy day. I know a couple who has been happily married for over 30 years and who do not consider Valentine's Day important at all. One year the wife told me with a big smile on her face (as her husband sat next to her beaming) how her husband bought her a gardening tool for Valentine's Day. I have observed this couple for years as they sit down together and chat after she comes home from work and enjoy their view overlooking the park. (He is retired.). It is clear to me that they are happily married and give each other the love and care every day that is important to nurture the affection they have for each other. Do you have a story or comments to share?

[zachira]

For many people, Valentine's Day is not a very happy day. I know a couple who has been happily married for over 30 years and who do not consider Valentine's Day important at all. One year the wife told me with a big smile on her face (as her husband sat next to her beaming) how her husband bought her a gardening tool for Valentine's Day. I have observed this couple for years as they sit down together and chat after she comes home from work and enjoy their view overlooking the park. (He is retired.). It is clear to me that they are happily married and give each other the love and care every day that is important to nurture the affection they have for each other. Do you have a story or comments to share?

[GaGrl]

My DH and I reconnected -- we had crushed on each other as teens but never quite took it to the Love level (Vietnam/WE Asia and university). His marriage was difficult (the uBPD/NPD), and I had several relationships behind me.

With us, every day is a special day. Our anniversary is several days before Valentine's Day, so we make it a point to celebrate prior to February 14 to avoid the crowds. DH laughs and says Valentine's Day is "for the amateurs."

 I'll take the loving, daily Acts of Service over a single day's demonstration -- always and forever!

[LilMe]

I'm a waitress so I work and make xtra cash.  I enjoy seeing my happy customers.  One of them left chocolates on my car

[Turkish]

A week ago, my ex sent me by text, "are you getting Valentine's cards or treats for the kids?  I can do somethimg for $20 if you want to pitch in." I didn't understand that she was talking about school. It was my custody day.  She came early to dress the kids in "spirit day" colors and gave me grief about getting candy when she had gone out the night before to get cards, candy and flowers for their teachers because I told her I wouldn't.  Dense wolf brain for not understanding what she was saying.  I thought it was gifts from us to the kids. 

Another VD ruined, like a lot of holidays, due to my fault. 

[JNChell]

Maybe I’m just being cynical, but I’ve never really understood it. I’ve went through the motions on VD, but shouldn’t love be celebrated everyday if a couple is in it together? I might think differently if I was a chocolatier, card manufacturer or florist. Looking back, VD felt like an obligation and acting. Good behavior on both sides, some kind of gift, a meal and sex. The mainstream motions.

”Valentines Day is for amateurs”   Thanks, Gagrl.

[zachira]

I am wondering from the tone of these replies if the happiest couples celebrate Valentine's Day when they feel like it anytime, and the actual Valentine's Day just is not such a big deal.

[JNChell]

I wonder the same thing, z. My dad always bought my mom expensive jewelry for VD. She would hug and kiss him after Sis and I had to watch her open it. Trouble always followed. Every year, every holiday and every peaceful break. Trouble was always coming.

You know, I hope that VD is celebrated at any given moment between 2 people that are in love. I believe that it happens. I’ve seen it. Honestly, it’s a goal.

[zachira]

JNChell
My goal as well is to celebrate Valentine's Day any time with a person I love that loves me back. I could care less about being given gifts, taken out to dinner, etc., just because it is Valentine's Day if the love, affection, and mutual respect are not there 365 days a year.

[JNChell]

365. Agreed.

[GaGrl]

I agree. Thinking back to my previous marriage and relationship, the emotional intimacy and daily life and support were absent. As a result, I think I placed too much emphasis on Amazon he Valentine's Day gesture. With the quality of my current marriage, I don't need the grand gesture.

[JNChell]

I’m happy to read this, Gagrl. I’m sure that it is great to be able to feel that way with another.

[JNChell]

Another VD ruined, like a lot of holidays, due to my fault. 

Perhaps she could’ve communicated things more clearly. I would’ve thought the same as you. Nothing here was your fault. You’re not responsible for owning another’s poor communication.

[itsmeSnap]

Not about valentine's, but I turned the anniversary of the day we met into a big celebration, gift exchange and all things couples, she seemed to like it  .

So yeah, its not about the date per se but I can understand the appeal of the ritual.

I didn't get to experience it this year to its fullest. Day-after discount chocolate never lets me down though

Hoping y'all had a good one!