Welcome
threebirds,

Wow! You must be so tired! Ask any of us here who has a pwBPD in our life and we will be totally able to relate to the whole fatigue issue! I remember when my uBPDm visited, how exhausted I'd get. I was tired before, during, and after the visit. I think it takes so much emotional energy to maintain boundaries and our own healthy place/space when they come. We can only hold that place for so long before we can no longer do it.
I'm very glad to hear that she is in DBT, and also that you were doing your best to be honest with yourself and yet still love her-from a distance that was safe. Remember that you are learning a new dance, in changing the way you interact, and it is no surprise to me that you are tired and that it will take time to learn those new steps. Learning something new is not an easy process for us to be patient with. We want to be done learning it quickly, but with time, you will certainly be there. Hang on!
Wools