Hey there, MyBPD_friend. I’m sorry to hear about the injuries that you suffered at 10 years old. I imagine that they were quite painful. I know how much a minor burn can hurt.
What once removed said is a common metaphor that is used when trying to articulate how a pwBPD can feel at times. That metaphor is found in books and articles.
Also, I’m not minimizing how you feel about reading that statement. I understand triggers and how they make us feel. They’re kind of like our own personal time machine that only travels backwards.
I’m sorry that reading that gave you negative feelings. I also want you to be aware that you’ll likely see that stated again. As I said, it’s been used in literature to help explain things. Just be prepared for it.
If you’re comfortable in sharing, how did your burns happen?
Hi JNChell,
Thanks for replying on my comment. I'm aware that BPD is often compared to third degree burns, I've read it a few times in articles on BPD.
However, I was just stating that it is a somewhat difficult comparison.
I have no problems talking about my burns and what happened, I actually made a photo book and an international photo exhibition about the issue, including self-portraits and portaits of other 'burn survivors' in the USA and Europe.
Two boys played with a candle light when one boy took a canister with wood paint and opened it to ask the other boy to put the candle near it. What follwed was an explosion with gas and wood paint, throwing it on my face, taht was back in 1971 - yeah I'm that old now.
However, recovering, involving about 25 skin grafts from age 10 - age 27, it took many years for a phsychological recovery - until my last surgery in 1988, after which I accepted myself and started my photo project as an exchange student in San Francisco.
A 'weird' friendship with a BPD woman put me back to those years of suffer when I was a boy and teenager. My story is written in this forum.
You see, in my case there is a real connection to my burns and BPD.
I probably met this woman because of my burns, she has a young relative who got burned, she is now 21 years old, my ex friend 35 soon.
It took me about a year to find out that I triggered her and she triggered my feelings and my memories of the past, including my longing for acceptance and love.
I came accross of picture of her on the web today, that triggered me as well.
Anyway, I couldn't accept and withstand her ST and late or no responses anymore last March/April and wrote a 'goodbye' letter to her.
At the same time I told her that I got a new phone number to avoid her contacting me again - that was extremely painful to do.
Regarding my burns and scars, I became a very strong personality, knowing what I want in life and what I can't accept. That's sometimes difficult for others to understand. I definately had my abandonment and rejection issues when I was younger. I met my wife (also German) in San Francisco during my scholarship, she had the same one in Long Beach, that was 1989.
I love my wife very much - I couldn't believe that I could eventually fall in love with another woman, which happened with that BPD woman in 2017. My wife knows about it and she also knows that my childhood experiences were a reason that this woman triggered me.
Today, I consider myself a happy person who has almost everything that one could ask for, two adult sons, a loving wife, a good business and good friends.
Thanks for reading
