This relationship would most certainly be seen as abusive- emotionally, verbally, and on occasion physically. I am damaged from it, but I was insecure before the marriage even began. I hold on so tightly for the idea of a happy family. The hope he will change some day. He never sticks with therapy more than a week and hops from different therapists. He says the most horrible things- I could never imagine saying to my worst enemy. I am his wife! zero respect.
He often threatens divorce in a rage. Then he will come around and no action is taken. This time he has spoken to a lawyer, he has plans to move out. The situation is not healthy for me or the kids, it never has been. But i find myself begging him back, I can't let it go! We do have so many great times between rages. We are such a happy loving family when he is not angry. But he is clearly done. I still love him! And i think well everyone has problems, we might not be the perfect family but we love each other... well he says the love is gone. I am most terrified for the divorce because I'll have to drop the children off with him! They are both under 3 years old. He is so unpredictable. It confuses the kids. He will be playing with them one minute then snap and spank them because they accidentally bumped him the wrong way. He often gives the kids harsh punishment and does not pay them enough attention to keep them out of the street or out of harms way. I know I will have to do 50/50 custody. He has abused me and injured me but I am scared to use this evidence in the divorce settlement because he will withhold more child support. He would probably just deny that it ever happened and I'll only end up with a more pissed off ex husband.
It is a nightmare. I can not handle the anxiety and stress of it all. I am having nightmares, I can hardly think about anything else. It is horrible. He has turned his parents into thinking that I am the one who caused our marriage to fail. That I am dishonest and he could never trust me.
